ava, don't | jack gilinsky ✓

10.

Jack's POV

"Your brother and I were really good friends junior year. We were up until senior year. I had dated a girl, Bianca-"

"I knew her." She said and I looked at her, surprised. I didn't expect her to know Bianca.

"Anyways, I dated Bianca junior year. We had a... special relationship. We did bad shit together. We went to a lot of parties and a lot of the time we ended up doing drugs and such. I met Bianca when she had already been this big druggie. Bianca introduced me to drugs. I thought I had been this big, cool guy. Did drugs, had a really hot girlfriend. All that shit. I thought I was, well, above everyone else. I started to get really angry. When I get hyped on drugs, I lose control of my anger. I got into a lot of fights. It was bad." I cringed at the flashbacks that I started to receive.

"I uh- Your brother got me to stop, finally. In the process of me coming down from that level, Bianca got bored. She got tired of me being the clean one. She got tired of me staying home while she went out. She went to a party one night and she uh- she cheated on me. She slept with one guy that night, and it escalated into different people every week." I said and avoided her eyes, not wanting Ava to see my vulnerability at the moment.

"When I found out, I went ape shit. I might have been clean for a while but I still had a bad temper. I reacted badly to things that pissed me off. In that moment, I felt so many different emotions. I was sad, I was angry, I was surprised. I couldn't handle all of it. I uh, I left her house and drove to my friend's house, making him give me something that would take my mind off of it. I'm still not sure what he gave me but it was strong. I drove over to a party and lost my shit completely. I saw one of the guys she mentioned earlier and I beat the shit out of the poor kid." I played around with my hands before her small one fell onto my large ones.

"You don't have to keep going." She whispered and I shook my head.

"If I don't explain then you'll think I'm the person everyone else thinks I am." I said, my voice cracking at the end. "I'm not the person they think I am." A tear ran down my cheek and she quickly put her tiny hand on my cheek, catching it underneath my cheek bone.

"I know you're not." She said and I looked up to finally meet her eyes who had different emotions swirling around each other.