DSAF Fics and Stuff

How To Flirt (According to Dave Miller)

Author's notes at the end!
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"Dood, this is wild." Old Sport giggled, feeling higher than a kite.
Dave turned to him, his grin loopier than usual. "Oh yeeeaaaah boi!" He echoed, his voice sounding like it surrounding Old Sport. This just made him laugh harder.
They'd been like this for at least half an hour, sitting on what they hope is a bench, riding out Old Sport's first cocaine trip in the best place in the world, Vegas!
Dave sat back and admired his orange protege, who was looking absolutely adorable right now laughing his ass off for no reason.
It's not something that his Old Sport did often, but Dave would like to change that, if his sportsy wanted him to.
Getting lost in his thoughts, Dave didn't even notice the blush on his cheeks until he felt a finger poke his face.
He looked over to his right, and Old Sport was crouched over, like a child. "You're blushing." He said in a matter of fact tone.
"Well yeah, Old Sport! Don't you blush when you drink cocaine?" Dave dodged. He didn't want Old Sport to know how he felt.
"Huh, Idk, maybe? I'm a reanimated corpse, so idk." He shrugged. That seemed to distract him, mumbling about he was able to pee. Dave sighed in relief.
As much as he liked him, he wanted to know him a little better before he tried flirting with him. He also wanted to make sure that Old Sport liked him back.
"Hey Dave?" Old Sport said, getting Dave out of his stupor. "Whatcha thinking about, Old Sport?" Dave replied.
Old Sport looked at him intently, almost serious, his face slowly becoming more red, as he placed his hand over Dave's, and said: "If you were a pick ya, I'd booger."
Dave, blushing a little from the physical contact (their hands were touching!), looked very confused.
"Wat? Old Sport, I am confusion, pls explain." Dave requested.
Old Sport didn't say anything, he instead curled up into a ball, and shuffled to the other side of the bench, that was looking more like a swing set somehow?
"Sorry Dave, it was nothing." Old Sport said deflatedly, shyly looking away from his aubergine partner to hide the burning mess on his face.
Dave looked at Old Sport, feeling perplexed. He shifted closer, and rotated Old Sport around, almost like a monkey.
Old Sport tried burying his face into his arms, but Dave pulled them out from his body and gaped at his counter parts blush, finally putting two and two together.
He let Old Sport shake him off before screaming: "Old Sport! You were trying to flirt with me!"
Old Sport somehow managed to redden even further, but didn't hide his face in his arms anymore.
Just as suddenly, Old Sport's blush faded away, almost looking pale under his many pounds of make up.
"Shit, he's gonna make fun of me, say no homo or some stupid thing like that." He thought bitterly, his thoughts snowballing. What Dave did next though really surprised.
"Sportsy, I really appreciate the effort of you flirting with me." Dave chuckled, trying to keep himself from laughing too much and being mean. Old Sport colored a little more again, although he felt a little more humiliated this time.
Dave stood up with an air of authority surrounding him: "But, I think you could use some lessons from the best flirt in town: Me!" Dave winked at Old Sport.
"Uh, I-I don-" Old Sport stuttered. "Nonsense, Old Sport!" Dave interjected, wrapping his arm around Old Sport's shoulder. "You need practice! So that you can woo any dam or gent you want!" Dave declared.
"Dammit, I'm usually not this anxious when I try to flirt with people! Must be the cocaine... oh well, let's see what Dave wants to teach me." Old Sport contemplates silently.
Dave walked away, still holding that air of authority around him. He looked at Old Sport, trying to ignore the giant space worms flying above him and Vegas.
"Now, Old Sport. You did some things right. The hand touch was a good indicator of showing interest beyond a regular friendship." Dave stated. Old Sport looked at Dave with interest, having caught his attention, and trying to ignore the broken Freddy animatronic standing next to him.
"However!" Dave continued. "You should only do something like a hand touch if it's someone you've known for a while, like a friend."
Old Sport nodded, actually intrigued by the advice Dave was giving. "Huh, I wonder if he's ever been on a date before?" Old Sport spaced off for a second.
Out of nowhere, Dave snapped his fingers in his face. "Focus, Sportsy, this is important stuff!" He demanded. "Right, sorry!" Old Sport apologized dutifully, not entirely sure why he did.
"Alright. Ya know, I think it's better if I gave you an example to work with, since we're both high as fuck and we'll both forget what we're doing otherwise." Dave stated.
"Oh...um, okay!" Old Sport said awkwardly, a little scared about what might happen up next.
Dave grinned: "Now's my chance! I can flirt with Sportsy, and it won't be weird!"
Dave then confidently strolled up to Old Sport. Putting his hand on his shoulder, Dave smoothly hummed: "Hey there, baby. Are you sure you're an orange, because to me, you look like a peach."
Old Sport almost turned into an apple, not able to describe how both cheesy and flattering the advance was.
Old Sport started laughing, laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.
Dave looked upset: "Sportsy, I-." He paused, a big frown sloping down his face. "Do you not like my flirting?"
Old Sport looked up at, still red and with a soft smile on his face. "No, no! I thought it was really cute actually! I just wasn't expecting something that cheesy from you." He finished the sentence giggling, barely able to contain the rare feeling of happiness that filled him right now.
Dave smiled widely, ecstatic that he was able to flirt with Old Sport AND make him laugh.
Dave, overwhelmed by his emotions and emboldened by the cocaine, wrapped his arms around Old Sport's waist and gave him a kiss on the lips.
Old Sport froze, unable to register what was happening.
Dave pulled away, blushing just as hard as he was now, looking breathless.
"Old Sport, was that okay? I didn't make you uncomfortable, did I?" Dave asked, a little concern edging into his voice.
Old Sport gave him a quick peck in response, before saying: "It was fine! But, you'll have to take me out to dinner at least before you get anymore."
Old Sport smirked, then added: "Like say..... 7:00 pm, tomorrow, at one of those fancy restaurants we robbed."
Dave was now the one blushing harder, a dark violet set against his purple face. He looked dumbstruck, taking a second to respond: "Alright then, it's a date!"
They decided to walk back to their hotel room, Dave making smart comments on how his teaching made Sportsy a god a flirting, Old Sport laughing the whole time, rolling his eyes because it was more just smoothly setting up a date rather than flirting, and holding hands the entire way back.

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Hello everybody! This was a very cute request from @AzmoonX
By the way, AzmoonX, I know I said a few days but I woke up this morning and I couldn't resist writing it now, so here ya go! Thank you for the request, it was a lot of fun!
Photo on top is not mine, it is a wallpaper from LaurenConrad.com!
I hope you guys have a good day and a good reading!
Quick edit: Also, don't take Dave's flirting advice! His advice is in some ways my advice! And I'm terrible when it comes to flirting! So DON'T. TAKE. HIS. ADVICE! That's all. See you guys soon!