Don't You Hear My Call?

Virgin

Johns POV
I went home and flopped back onto my bed. I needed to talk to Freddie.

I'm feeling a bit more like myself after that talk with Brian. It still can't believe that Roger and him are having problems. It was a right shock, but then again Freddie and I aren't doing so hot either.

I got up off the bed and walked to the kitchen. I pulled a mug off the shelf and got the kettle going on the stove. Once the water was hot, I poured some into my mug and slipped a tea bag in there. I took a long sip and contemplated what I was going to say to Fred.

I went over to the phone and picked it up. Then put it back down, realizing I had no plan. What was I going to say to Freddie? He deserves an explanation, but how should I start.

I went back into the bedroom and rummaged around for a pen and a pad of paper.

I started with righting a letter, to see how I would phrase things, but everything had to be said in person so I chucked the idea. I made a list of my insecurities and worries to see if there were things I needed to share with him. The list grew and I came to the conclusion that I wasn't confident in myself at all.

List of  Worries

1. Freddie will be disappointed when he sees me
2. I'm not like the other guys he's been with
3. I'm too scrawny
4. My hips and ribs poke out too much.
5. I'm white as a ghost
6. My cock is probably way to small for his liking
7. I barely have an arse
8. My lips are always chapped
9. I'm a fucking virgin

Freddie was all confidence. He shines on stage and has no problem showing himself off. He's proud of himself and I'm nowhere near as happy with who I am. For crying out loud, he's in a leotard on stage and I'm always fully dressed, even when I'm by myself.

I needed to talk to Freddie immediately. I was beginning to feel like the walls were closing in. I needed to hear his perfect voice. It always kept me calm. That sweet voice always made me feel safe.

I picked up the phone for the second time and rang Freddie. After two rings, he picked up. "Hello?" I sighed I'm relief. Hearing his voice made me feel 100 times better.

"Hello Fred, it's me, John" I said, there was a slight stutter to my voice. "Hello Darling, how are you feeling?" His tone was almost concerned. "I'm doing well, but I wanted to know if you could come over." He took a second. "I'm free all day. I could come over right now if that's alright?"

"That'd be perfect, thank you love. I'll see you soon, okay?" I was ready to talk about everything with him.

"Okay, I'll be right over. I lo- l can't wait to see you" he caught himself.

Oh my god. Oh my god oh my god. He almost said those words. He was about to say those words. He loved me.

"I can't wait to see you as well, goodbye" I said, smiling against the phone. "Goodbye" He said.

Freddie loves me. I love him too. But is it too soon to say it? He almost said it to me but he stopped. At least I know that sex wasn't everything to him. He loved me and we haven't even done anything yet.

I felt a tonne of weight lift off my shoulders. I can't wait until he gets here. I want to kiss him so bad. But I also need to explain to him how I've been feeling. I can't keep him in the dark.

About 20 minutes later, Freddie arrived. The knock at the door was fast but ordinary. I always knew when it was him. I opened it up and breathed in at the sight of him. He was so amazing. He smelled of worn cologne and sweat. I noticed a gleam of sweat on his forehead. The kind you get from running up too many stairs. "Hey Fred, are you alright? You look a bit tired, maybe sick?" I asked. "Oh, no" he laughed, "I'm just a bit winded from climbing the mountain of stairs to get here."