Don't You Hear My Call?

Rogerina... Maybe?

Roger's POV
I loved Brian so much. I'm nothing without him. I don't want to lose him just because I'm confused about who I am.

I had forgotten all about it when we started dating. Then, when we found out I could have kids, it all clicked into place. I've always loved being pretty. Let's face it, I don't look like a normal guy. I look like a girl who was accidentally a guy. And... I kind of want to be a girl.

I played with it a bit. I wore things in secret. I even opened up a little to Bri about it, but I don't think he really noticed what I was saying. I wore that lingerie before we had sex because it made me feel good, not just as some kind of kink, even though it did turn me on more. I pierced my nipples because I wanted to feel like a woman anyway I could. Sometimes I'd tuck my dick between my legs, I'd push up my chest and brush my hair down. I'd try to look like a real girl.

I'm also really nervous about having sex with Brian. I knew the instant that I found out that I was this way, that I was a bottom. I knew it was gonna hurt, but I really wanted to feel used that way. Being with women was always weird for me. Mostly because I wanted to be in the woman's place.

So dressing up and playing with all of this made me feel better. But it also made me feel ashamed. What if Brian thought I was some kind of freak for wanting to dress like a girl?What if he thought I was a freak because I don't like myself the way I am?

There's a lot of stuff I keep from Brian. It's a lot of personal stuff. Like how I rarely ate around him. I had an eating disorder before we met, and I'd thought that I'd over came it. Funny, when I first started being intimate with Brian, it relapsed.

He'd touch me, and I loved that. But I felt so self conscious. I felt ugly. There are so many things keeping me from being who I want to be. Whether it's my insecurities or the fear that I'll be judged harshly, I don't think I'll ever be fully comfortable or supported. I'll always be scared.

When Brian found the dress, I thought I would die. He knew about the teddy and the piercings, but I thought he would be overwhelmed by this. I know I'm not normal, I just want him to still like me. What if he doesn't love me the same?

I want to be a girl. Maybe not publicly now, but at least in hiding. I want to be pretty. To be loved. To be a real woman.

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"What do you mean?" Brian looked at me confused. There was no hiding it now.

"It's mine. I-I wear it sometimes" I said.

Brian looked at the dress, almost analyzing it. He handed it to me and gave me a weak smile. I can't help but think that he hates me now. I took the dress and rubbed the soft fabric between my fingers. I opened my mouth to say something, but Brian spoke up.

"C-Could you maybe, put it on?" He asked.

I was shocked and a little confused, but also a little happy. Maybe Brian wasn't turned off by it after all. And I wanted to show him this side of me. I guess now was a better time than waiting.

I nodded and unbuttoned my pajama shirt. My piercings were still in and Brian watched me with his eyes locked. I pushed down my trousers and stood in only my briefs. I took a breath and slipped the dress on over my head. I smoothed it down my stomach and looked up to see Bri's reaction.

I bit my lip and waited for him to speak after looking me over. "Wow, I mean, woah. Y-you look-just amazing" he breathed. I blushed harshly at his words.

Brian got up from his spot. He ran his hands up and down my sides, feeling the fabric with his hands. He brought his fingers up to play with the neckline, then grazed them over the silver rings that poked out where my nipples were. Finally, he rested his hands on my lower back, pulling me into a passionate kiss.