Second Book: Sarange Rising.

"She needs you..." (pt1)

*You know, if you want me there just say it*

*I don't even want to go in the first place, there's no need to drag you with me* Jessica texted her lover and rose up from the couch where she's been spending most of her days at.

The younger woman wasn't feeling good these past few weeks, a situation that made Susan feel like she was trying to cut her out of her life and although Jessica tried numerous times to explain to her lover that it wasn't about her, Susan made it all about her in her head.

"I don't know, maybe it's the end and she just tries to push me away," Susan said to her dear friend Clayton and threw her phone to the side without answering.

"How long is this going?"

"She's been like this since she got back from Minnesota"

"Did you fight when she was there?"

"No, we didn't. But we're fighting almost every day..." Susan sighed and buried her face in her open palms. "I don't know... I don't know what to do!"

"How about you explain to her how you feel?"

"Don't you think I didn't try that?! Every time I open my mouth she flips! This is it, Clayton. We're done and there's nothing I can do to change that"

"Nonsense! Be optimistic for God's sake!"

"Then explain to me why she's acting like that"

"Jesus, I don't know but give her some space... I don't know her as much as you do but I can see that she has stuff in her head going"

"Well, I have stuff of my own, we can't continue like that!"

"So you want to end this"

Susan stared at him, looking like she was building into something but eventually, "No..." she said and took a sip from her mug. "But we can't continue like this either..." Susan added and took her phone.

*Am I going to see you after?*

*Not today, Sue. I don't feel so good. I should better come back home and rest* Jessica replied.

Of course, Susan wasn't the only one who was feeling the same way but it was a little different for Jessica. There were times where all she needed was to stay home with her lover and spend time talking or even watch a movie and do nothing but all Susan wanted was for them to go out. They are different but only now both of them realized that.

Christmas can be a depressing season and Jessica felt like it was endless. All she wanted was someone to listen to her but she felt that Susan didn't want to hear. Having the kids around the house, talking about Sam only made her feel worse and although she thought she left all that behind it was only getting bigger.

Suddenly she was dealing with remorse, feeling that she could change the outcome if she was next to him and not so far away, working and having the time of her life...

*We live a block away and it's been a week since the last time we saw each other*

*Now it's not the time to talk about that* Jessica texted and the minute Susan read it, she immediately called her.

"And when's the right time?"

"Not now"

"And when Jessica? When?! What did I do to deserve all this?"

"Nothing... you did nothing"

"Then what's wrong with you? If you want to end this just say it but we can't continue like this"