drunk voicemails ➟ ethma

2.2

twenty-two | broken puzzle

ETHAN
FRIDAY | ZERO DRINKS

The drive to her house reminded him of the last time he went over. As much as he tried not to think about it, it was impossible not to. He felt the same emotions, his stomach was queasy and nerves rattled through his bones. Hopefully time had healed her, unlike how it had affected Ethan. Time had done him worse. It was only a matter of time before this was bound to happen. He just wants it to go well.

This time, it meant a lot more to him. A lot was riding on this interaction and all he could do was see how it panned out and go with it. He missed her and their friendship. His life would start to piece together like a broken puzzle if this all went well. However, he was worried that if it didn't, the pieces would only get harder to find.

Ethan took the stairs one at a time, unlike all his past visits when he would skip over every other one. He was trying to delay the inevitable as much as he could, but the time was shortening until he would see her once again.

Upon arriving at the wooden door frame, he took a few deeps breaths and brought his fist to the door to knock twice and then stepped back. He adverted his gaze to the floor, unable to stop his heart from hammering any faster.

Half a minute passed by and his nerves were increasing with each second. He began to worry that she might not even be at home and he chose the wrong time to stop by. His thoughts were cut short when he heard the locks click open from the inside, and the door squeak to an open.

In front of him appeared his Emma. His beautiful Emma. Her hair had been dyed a dark brown, much different than the blonde he was used to, but nonetheless still gorgeous. She stared at him in surprise, not expecting to see him anytime soon. Ethan had to snap out of his daydream and put together the words he had recited all last night.

"Hi, Em." He said softly, trying to show submission in hopes she would see his regret. "I was hoping I could finally tell you the truth."

Emma wasn't quite sure what to say. Standing on her porch, was the boy that haunted her thoughts. The boy that left with an unexplainable warning but no reasoning. The boy that flooded her voicemail inbox with drunk rants. How was she supposed to react? She could tell he was vulnerable right now.

"Why now?" She questioned.

"It's safe." Ethan paused. "I don't have to worry about you being hurt."

"Well, I've already been hurt emotionally." She stated.

Ethan knew that to be true. He remembered all the pictures he had sneaked a glance at from Grayson's phone of her sunken eyes and sad smiles.

"No—" He shakes his head. "I mean physically."

"Oh." She said, not sure what to say.

"There's a lot more to it than what you really know. It's the reason I fell into a drunken depression and took so long to come see you." He briefly explained.

"I guess it's about time." She says, opening the door wider, allowing him to enter her home for the first time in two years.

Walking in, not much had changed. He could picture all the memories they shared in this very apartment and it was very nostalgic. He hadn't got past the doorway in quite a while.

She led them to the couch, where she sat on one side and he sat at the other end. Keeping his distance was key, he didn't want to push his boundaries and end up on the outside with tears in his eyes once again. She stares down at her nails as he tried to put together the right words to begin.

"So I had this friend from high school that Grayson and I would hang out with," Ethan started, causing Emma to glance up and watch him speak. "His name is Ryan."

Just at the sound of that name, Ethan begins picturing the moment that he jumped back into the car with the bag of money and the time he had waited outside Emma's to make sure Ethan didn't come by. It still felt fresh in his mind.

Emma nodded for him to continue.

"He didn't have the best reputation, but one day he called me and asked if Gray and I wanted to hang out. I agreed, unknowing to the event that would follow. He drove us to a convenience store and we just thought he was getting coffee or something. Turns out, he made an impulsive decision to rob the place and when he came back, we freaked out."

She wasn't quite sure yet how this all related, but regardless she continued to listen to him tell his story.

"When he realized that we didn't like what he had just done, he got really upset. He started to blackmail me. I don't know how he found out so much information about me but he knew we were friends. He also knew that your dad was a police officer." He continued.

Emma then began to understand what happened. She could feel the hurt within Ethan.

"He threatened me that I couldn't see you anymore or even speak to you. I really didn't like that idea, but I also wanted to keep you safe. I knew if it meant you weren't in danger, then I had to put our friendship on the line. I tried to see one time before I actually did, but he was stalking me and told me to go back. Just for robbing a convenience store, he was dead serious about keeping his word.

"I still felt like I had to tell you something, just so you knew that I wasn't ignoring you on purpose. I'm sure even then, what I said was confusing but it was all I could say." He said.

Emma looked at him, seeing the tears in his eyes. She finally could fathom that the hurt they both went through was necessary but unwanted. After all this time, she thought he didn't care about her, but he actually cared so much more than she was aware of.

"Why are you able to tell me now?" She asked.

"He was arrested about six months ago, he ended up committing another crime and got caught. I didn't tell you then because I was paranoid. I worried obsessively on the thought of him getting out and hurting you. I came to my senses when you blocked my number realizing that it was time to see you again." Ethan replied.

"Oh Ethan," She muttered. "I'm sorry you dealt with that, but thank you for putting my safety first."

He nodded shyly, trying to keep more tears from falling. He felt so much relief by telling her. It was like a ton of bricks were placed on his chest and they finally were removed.

Emma scooted closer to him on the couch, "Are you still drinking?"

"I haven't for the last day or so, but I can already feel the withdrawal symptoms. It feels like my skin is crawling with the urge to get another drink." He admits.

"Please don't." Emma says, pulling him into a hug.

He immediately relaxes in her arms. It didn't feel real because for so long he only had this in his imagination. He nuzzles his head in the crook of her neck and starts to sob. He grips onto her waist like he wasn't going to see her ever again. All Emma can do is hold him tight and smooth his hair away, whispering to him that it was all going to be okay.