drunk voicemails ➟ ethma

2.4

twenty-four | please stop drinking

ETHAN
FRIDAY | ZERO DRINKS

Being back in her arms gave him a comfort that was unknown to him, but much needed. His pain vanished for the time being and everything felt right again. There was still something he wanted to tell her, something that dated back further than just two years ago. It was a more intimate secret he used to think about frequently. He regretted not telling her the moment he had felt like that, because shortly after, his chance had been ruined.

The two of them remained in their embrace for what felt like forever. Ethan didn't want to leave her soft and delicate touch. It was the kind that sent serenity in mere seconds. Her kind words echoed in his mind and instantly replaced all the previous haunting ones. He felt so distant from the world for such a long time, and now he's closer than he had ever been.

Ethan eventually pulls back once his tears had ceased and he felt like he could mutter coherent words. He stares at Emma and realizes she had been crying too. They were one big mess, but they were definitely in a better position than they had been.

"I have something else I wanted to tell you, too." Ethan says delicately.

"About what happened?" Emma asked.

"No, this was before that." He replied.

"Okay, go on." She says.

"I love you." He says after hesitating.

"I love you, too, Ethan."

He shakes his head, "No, more than that. I was in love with you. I think I still am because the feeling never left. Being with you now just brought everything back."

He knows he could have easily lost those feelings within the two years they didn't speak, but there wasn't a moment he didn't think of her. Now that he's next to her again, he feels his heart warming like it had when everything was how it used to be.

Ethan searches her face for any sign of similarity, anything to signal she even slightly felt the same way. Her facial features remained the same, still so empathetic and kind. He took in the feeling of her hand placed on top of his.

"I will admit that I had a teensy crush on you too, before everything happened. But when you left me, I was so confused. I thought I had done something wrong and I kept analyzing everything I had ever done when I was with you. I felt like I made so many mistakes or it was my personality or something.

I'm relieved to know it was for a totally different reason unrelated to me, although the situation was still bad nonetheless, but my feelings did go away, you have to understand that. I do want to mend our friendship together, though. Knowing of this really put everything in perspective and I'm so sorry you had to go through that." Emma says.

Ethan nodded, understanding. How could he expect her to like him after she suffered with the thought he hated her? He was going to take everything with a grain of salt. He still had hope that their friendship could grow into something more, but for right now, being friends was more than enough.

"Thank you, Emma." He said, bringing her hand to his mouth and gently pressing a kiss on the backside.

"Of course, E. We can start over fresh, pretend nothing happened." She replied.

He smiled, "I would appreciate that."

It's pretty hard to pretend that the past two years never happened, considering he went through a drastic decline in both his emotions and actions, but he wanted to try. He finally had her back in his life and he had nothing else to hide. He was a free man, unlike the guy that got him in this mess.

"Will you promise me something?" Emma asks.

"Of course, anything." He replied.

Whatever it was she was going to suggest, he would do it. He wanted to make up for the hurt she was put through and whatever it took, he would do.

"Don't drink anymore, it's hurting you." She said.

That was going to be difficult. For the last several months, all he knew well was drinking. It became a coping mechanism that helped him sleep at night and forget for a little while that he was in pain. The numb feeling was a secondhand state for him, one he spent every night in to drown his sorrows.

"Help me?" Ethan questioned.

Emma saw the torment dancing in his eyes. She didn't have to be there at the scene of the crime to see how the trauma was affecting him. She wanted him to be in a stable emotional state, one where he wasn't in constant misery and needed an alcoholic beverage to bear the pain.

"You took care of my safety and now I'll take care of your health." She replied.

She knew if she left Ethan alone, he could return to his previous routine. He was helpless in the way he couldn't be independent. He needed someone to rely on to prevent him from setting foot into a bar or a place to be when his withdrawal was getting bad. Emma decided to fill the role and provide him the support he needed.

Things were going to be better, she thought. No longer did she have to wonder what separated them and he didn't have to feel an ache in his heart. She was going to help him recover, and she hoped while doing so it can replace her fear of being left.

Ethan looked at her like she was all he needed. He wanted to stop his dependency of alcohol and forget the past. Recovering from the pain he felt would help him ease the cracks in his heart.

Life would soon revert back to how it was before this all happened. Wouldn't it?