Chapter 35| ignorance

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While Dino was on the phone I had tried to reach the bag but Dino had cut off his conversation and blocked my way. "I am not with your bath yet..." he stated. I groaned while he grabbed me and sat me down again. He glanced at me a couple of times as if he wanted me to start talking. I never should've kissed him. It was a mistake... why? I am really new to this. I didn't even know if he liked me back.
The thought of him not liking me depressed me.

Dino sighed and stopped. "I am so sorry that horrible stuff happened to you... it really breaks my spark," he said. I shrugged and looked away. "I am glad you cried... and about the kiss-" I cut him off right there. "Are you done washing me?"
He stared at me store getting up and helped me dress up. I laid down and turned my back towards him. Anxiously watching the wall. 'I made a mistake' that's all that kept popping up in my head. Why did I do it? Dino is all I have and I took an unnecessary risk. I just want someone to love me and the person is probably not even Dino. He's an alien after all.

I could feel tears welling up and slowly rolling down my face. I am so stupid and dumb. As if he will ever like a broken teenager like me. He's nothing more but my Bose and it will always be that way.
I have no experience with romantic relationships anyway but I did crave for it. I scowled at myself for sounding so stupid and cliche. At least I managed to kiss him once...
Once... just once... I don't know if I ruined my relationship with him, I hoped not so though.

The next two days, we're tough. Dino pretended nothing had happened and I doubted he realized my struggles. I had woken up an hour ago and Dino was already awake and walking around. "Good to see you awake..." he said. "Why?" I grumbled.
"Because... I want to see your wounds and give you a bath," he said, turning on the water and pushed the drain in. 'Great' I scoffed mentally.

Perhaps he'll touch me again...

The thought popped up in my head and I relived the moment when his hand moved over my thigh. I wanted that again. I would do everything to let him touch me like that again. "Sure..." I muttered, sitting up straight. He raised a brow, "no struggling?" He asked. "I feel dirty..." I replied, not a complete lie. I got used to it that he saw me naked.
He hummed and shrugged his shoulders before undressing me.
My foot started to heal and I was able to stand again. "Just lay down for a second..." he ordered while turning around to turn off the water. He turned back towards me again. What if he joins me in the bathtub? That would be nice. Many questions popped up in my head. How does his body look like without clothes? How many girlfriends did he have and does he have a crush.

He checked my hip and cuts I had given myself. I tried not to shiver as he touched me. Started to get wet and it made me uncomfortable. It never happened before that I get wet for someone. Do I really want him?

Dino moved away from me, "looks good..." he said, helping me up. I ended up against his chest. He hadn't touched me as he had done before. It somehow disappointed me. He helped me sit down bathtub. Dino started to wash me without saying anything. Normally he would talk, right? I bit my lip anxiously, I probably screwed it up. Dino washed my face before he pulled the drain out and washed the soap off of me. I was able to walk around a little, so I didn't really need his help anymore, but I was anxious that I screwed it up after kissing him.
I sighed while watching him move around. Slowly I got up from my position on the couch and grabbed his arm, pulling him in a hug. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my still wet hair. "I hate to say this... because I don't want to leave yet, but we need to head back to the base," he said after pulling away. "Why?" I asked. "Because... Decepticons are mobilizing," he said, sighing. "They need me..." he said.

'They need him?' so it means they don't me. It hurt for some reason. "I can keep a close eye on you there too," he added. I sat down on the edge of the bed, nodding. He turned away from me, grabbing something. "We will leave tonight... it will be two hours of driving," he continued. I looked down at the sheets. What am I still doing in Washington DC if they have Mirage to replace me? He just said it himself... they need him, not me as they did in past. I am useless to them now. Mirage is ten times smarter than I am, after all, I am just a primitive lifeform.

"Cat!"

I jolted a little and looked up, "What's wrong?" he asked confused, obviously noticing my depressed state. "Nothing..." I sulked, getting up.

((Mirage's P.O.V))
What is wrong with Cat?
I watched her eyes turn hard as if she was blocking all her emotions. I tried to remember what I said, perhaps I have missed something. She's acting strange lately anyway. Something I have never seen before. It really confused me. "Cat... something wrong?"I asked carefully but she turned away from me. "No."
She snapped at me and I just thought we were heading the right way...
"look, if I did something wrong, you can tell me," I said as I approached her. There was a silence, so obviously I did something wrong in her eyes. "Talk to me, Cat!" I turned her around, forcing her to look at me. Her eyes were wet as if she was about to cry and that's strange. Cat doesn't cry, or not very often. She cried a few days ago, the day she kissed me...

"talk to me!"
She huffed and pushed me away. "I have been thinking about it for a while..." she began, pacing around. I frowned and crossed my arms, she must be really upset to be like this. "You're right... they need you... not me," she said. "Cat!" I grabbed her and forced her to look at me. "I need you... I can't do it without you and I am sorry I said that... that's not what I meant..."
"Then what do you mean, Mirage!" she spat out, pushing me away. "You have to believe me... you know how much I adore you and how I depend on you... I need you!" I repeated. She huffed and shook her head. "You should take my comments lightly, okay? I am tired, I didn't realize what I was saying... I mean us... they need us, not just me," I stated.

She glared at me, not believing me. "Where do you need me for why you're so desperate to keep me around!" she snapped. "Stop!" I snapped, pushing her against the wall. She groaned at the force I used. "Don't you see that you replaced me, Mirage?" she asked. "I didn't... we are partners!" I spat. She huffed and pushed me away. "We are friends..." I added sharply. I saw her flinch, which confused me again. She settled back on the couch, looking outside.


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