Fell in love with a spy-mirage fanfiction (1) ✔️

Chapter 32| weak

I woke up next Mirage and he was still asleep. He had woken up three times because I had nightmares so he must be pretty tired as well. I needed to use the bathroom but I didn't want him to carry me and make fun of  me again, I also knew I am still weak and my feet hurt with each step I made. Even the sheets were hurting my feet.
My ankle was pretty bruised as well and it made it kind of impossible to walk. My ego won and I sat on the edge. I was able to do this, it's not that far anyways. I didn't want to depend on Mirage any longer. I hated it. It's humiliating even though I am grateful he saved my ass.

I got up, stumbling a little and standing was painful. Even my knees didn't want to work. I collapsed on the floor with a loud thud. My head was spinning and I felt even worse then the day before. "What are you doing?"
Mirage knelt down next to me, but I didn't look at him. Once again, I proved I needed him and I depended up him. He lifted my chin. "You look miserable," he murmured. "I feel miserable," I snapped, looking away. Dino pulled me against his chest.

I sometimes wished I could turn invincible just like him and disappear. That's what I wanted to do right now, disappear. I wished I was at the small farm of my grandfather. Having a life without pain, humiliation and war. "Hey..."
I looked into Dino's eyes as he lifted my chin. "Say something," he whispered. "I wish I could disappear, I wish I was at barn of my grandfather. I've always dreamed of being there..." I whispered. Dino brushed some hair from my face. "Don't be sad... you're going to be fine," he assured me.

((Mirage's P.O.V))
She's depressed really depressed and it worried me. For a moment I thought she was doing okay. Last day she was doing fine and heading back to her old self, but now she's back in her depressed state. I knew she wanted to do it herself, she couldn't and she hated it.
"Bathroom?" I asked. She gave a brief nod, not even looking at me. Her body temperature had dropped again so I quickly picked her up. Without further due, I carried her to the bathroom. This time, I didn't tease her. I already felt bad for doing it the other day because she thinks I like seeing her so depressed and helpless. It broke my spark. I just wanted to hold her and comfort her.

I waited outside till she was done. "Maybe a bath will do good," I suggested as I sat her down and turned towards the bathtub. As I turned I saw her sitting, shaking and having those grey dull eyes, showing how unhappy and depressed she was. I would do anything to make her smile.

As the bath was filled I helped her in and sat on the edge. "Animals are lucky, don't you think?" I raised a brow. "Why?" I asked. "They're loved, they have a home... and when they're old or suffering, humans put them down," she said. "We don't have that luck... maybe my mom was right," she sadly muttered. I lifted her head "about what?"

She shook her head and kept quiet. "You've to talk to me," I pushed. "Tell me what she said..." I pushed quietly. I needed her to tell me things. "It doesn't matter, she's not here... it's the past,"
"But that's was tearing you apart, Cat," I said.

"Skylar..."

I frowned "Cat I just a name people gave me... my real name is Skylar," she said. "Skylar..." I mumbled. "I hate that name... so don't call me that. Don't make me regret telling you," she muttered grumpily. "Well I think it's beautiful," I said. "It's not..."
"That name died a long time ago..." I sulked. "Don't say that, you're a beautiful talented and gifted spy!" I stated. "Really?" She mocked. "Don't do this to yourself," I said. "I am worthless, I don't belong here. I am a mistake and I should've died a long time ago! That would have saved me from so much pain and hate!" She said hatred.
"Don't hate yourself, please..." I said.

I grabbed some soap and rubbed it over her shoulders. "I guess you don't even know what love means," I said. "It's fake, love doesn't exists," she growled. "It does!" I stated. "No! It's all based on... lies!" She said. "Sweetspark please," I said. "It's fake Mirage!" She grunted. "It's not fake," I cooed, moving my hands over her arms. "I am still able to wash myself, it's the only thing besides eating I can do myself," she grumbled, pushing me away.