Love me the way I love you

07

Gia

We all got ready for a morning show simple dress up. I wore my new black hi waisted slacks and rolled the bottom with Hi top converse, black belt, and a white cropped top. I threw on my jewelry, did light makeup, and fixed my hair in the mirror to a pony tail with the ends curled and a loose strand.

The boys got ready in simple black slacks, boots, and dress shirts. There was a knock on the door and I went to open the door, Kim stood there "Ready?"

I looked in the room and the boys were fixing their shirts "Almost." She came in looking at what we were wearing, then looked at me "What?"

"Put on a different shirt" she told me bluntly. "You guys don't look like a unit."

I rolled my eyes and looked at the clothes I had that were already pressed "I'm fucking over this" I mumbled to myself. I pulled out a bunch of clothes and Kim came over grabbing this black base blouse with red roses on it and black booties.

I pulled my top off swapping it for the blouse and changed my shoes. "There you go."

I quickly changed and looked in the mirror "I look like them."

"Well you guys are a band."

"Well I'm not offended at all" Luke mumbled.

I groaned "Sorry, I didn't sleep last night..." and grabbed my stuff walking out the door. They followed and we got in an elevator going down to the lobby, a security team stood by the door ready to lead us to the car.

We went through slowly waving to fans and taking quick pictures before getting in the car. I sat in the back with Ashton looking out the window. "You okay?" I nodded slowly taking in one good breath.

Why am I having so much attitude? Because Calum won't talk to me at all or hear me out, then I barely slept last night, and I'm having chest pains that's giving me short breath.

We headed to the good morning show somewhere in Perth and Kim went over ourimhard schedule "After this, there's one more interview and you'll do an acoustic performance. You'll have lunch, a 4 hour gap, then we'll pack up and head to the venue for sound check, meet and greet, and you'll get on stage."

Perfect.

//

After the show, I headed into the greenroom taking my shirt off laying on my stomach on the couch. Today, all I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry, but obviously I don't get to do that.

Not long after the boys walked in and I pretended to be sleeping. "She must be exhausted..." Ashton mumbled sitting down by my feet. "Have you guys talked?"

I listened and tried not to react. "No, it's just... I'm an idiot. If I just knew she felt that way, I wouldn't have lied in her face about not having feelings..."

"Wait what did I miss?" Luke asked confused.

Calum huffed "I made some bullshit up about no strings attached and I meant I love her as a best friend when she over heard Ash and I talking. Then she told me that this whole thing between us isn't just nothing to her and how she fell for her best friend again, then walked out before I could say something."

"Are you dumb?" They rhetorically said.

"Shut up" I could picture Calum rolling his eyes.

I let out a long breath softly and felt a sharp pain in my chest causing me to groan softly. Shit that hurts. The boys got quiet and I could hear the videos they were watching on their phones and munching on food. They were like that for a long time which got me to fall asleep.

"You're the love of my life, I'm not ready to loose you. I don't think I'll ever be ready for that..." Calum said. He was just pacing around the room talking to himself, then I walked into the room.

I hugged him softly "You okay?" I looked over and I laid in the bed- eyes closed, just blank expression, cold, and dead.

Calum's head hung low holding onto my cold hand "I'm so sorry for everything... I wish I could change everything, I should've known something was wrong..."

Luke and Ashton walked in exhausted patting Calum's shoulder. He just broke down crying, "Baby! I'm right here, I'm here. It's okay." He just cried on my cold body as the boys cried rubbing his back.

I rested my hand on his head "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you so much, and I never told you that" he cried. "I never got a chance to tell you how much I love you..."

A girl walked over to Calum kissing his cheek and he cried against her "Baby, there's nothing you could've done..."

I watched for a second and Calum pulled away looked at my dead body on the bed "She thought I was just using her, but I wasn't. I was too scared to admit to her... Mia walked outside because I didn't say it back..."

Tears ran down my cheeks "Baby, it's not your fault. It was never your fault" I reached out caressing his cheek.

"Calum, it's time to go" Ashton said holding onto his shoulder.

They walked out the door heads hung low crying softly, I followed them by the time I got to the door I couldn't get out. "Calum! Calum! Luke! Ashton! Please don't leave me here! Please!" I yelled banging on the door.

"It's time to go" my what use to be my dead body was walking towards me. I stared at her I watched the boys walk out the hospital doors "It's time" she reached forward and grabbing my hand.

"Oh my god" I yelled.

Luke stood there above me shaking my arm "Hey, you okay?" He said softly. I took in a deep breath and felt tears fall "Giovanna, it's okay."

I nodded crying softly and Luke gave me a hug "Thanks..."

He smiled and rubbed my shoulder "You okay?"

I nodded slowly standing up "Just the worst dream ever... I'm gonna go shower. Thanks Luke."

I walked over to my bag pulling out leggings, undergarments, and a tour hoodie. I walked towards the showers and Calum walked out with a towel around his waist and hair wet. He sighed and looked away walking into lounge area of the greenroom.

I turned on the water to the shower and undressed before getting in just trying to catch my breath. I quickly showered up and dried off doing my after shower routine and getting dressed. I walked back into the greenroom sitting on the ground eating a plate of food waiting for me.

This just sucks.