Love Of My Life

61

Aria

"It's only a couple of weeks," Ben tells me when we get to the airport. Luckily there's no paparazzi here so we'll have at least a couple of minutes to ourselves.

I sigh, and hop out of the car to help Ben unload his things. I walk around to the backseat and take out his luggage. 

I start to feel emotional knowing Ben will be away in Hollywood for a little bit. Since that movie is interested in him, he has to go for screen-testing and a couple other things with his agent, Tony. 

"Hey," Ben says, coming over to me. I didn't realize that I had a tear streaming down my face until Ben wipes it away. I look up at him. "I'll be back before you know it,"

"I know, I'm just going to miss you,"

Ben smiles sadly. "I'm going to miss you too, love. But I'll call when I can I promise," 

I shut the car door and throw my arms around Ben. He hugs me back too and we stay like this before he really needs to go. 

"Text when you land," I tell him, still grasping his hand. It slowly pulls out of my reach as he walks away.

"I will," I tells me. "I love you,"

"I love you too,"

And with that I watch him take his luggage and disappear into the airport, turning around to give me one more wave. I smile the whole time, but feel empty when he leaves. Is it bad I'm this attached to him? It's the first time we've been away for an extended amount of time. It's way longer than Christmas break was. 

The entire ride home I feel more emotional than usual. I had come to terms with the fact that Ben and I would be separated occasionally for our careers, and I was okay with it. So what's wrong with me now? Perhaps since it's the first time. I don't know though. 

I invite Lucy over to spend the night with me. She's over within and hour of my call and we spend a long time just talking about life and watching movies. 

"So how's Rami?" I ask.

A smile erupts on Lucy's face. "He's good," she tells me. I raise my eyebrows expecting more of an answer. "He's amazing, Ari. He really is. I honestly was little hesitant when I first developed feelings for him because he's older than me by a lot, but he's perfect,"

"Age shouldn't matter if you love him," I tell her. "Unless of course he was fifty. That would be a different story," We laugh. 

"He's just really special and he gets me. Like you get me too, but-"

"No I get what you're saying," I tell Lucy. "Don't worry," We sit in silence, staring at the television until Lucy speaks again. "He really likes you you know,"

"Ben?" I ask. 

"No Rami. He really looks up to you. He's joked about how you're his long lost sister before," she laughs. 

"Yeah Sami, Rami and Ari," I joke. 

"See? It could work," 

"He's really brilliant in this role. I knew he was the one from the beginning," 

"Really?" Lucy asks, propping her head up on her hand. 

I nod. "We had a couple Freddie Mercury's lined up but Rami was different. We just had to build his confidence. I liked him because he didn't want to exploit dad for any of the 'bad things' he did. And they weren't even bad - I mean okay sure some of them were fuck ups - but things get twisted and that's what would have happened," 

"I get it. Like the gay clubs and such," 

"Yeah. It gets twisted to something way worse than it is,"

"Can I ask you something?" Lucy asks me. I nod. "What ever happened to your mum?"

I sigh. I never talk about it. It's such a bitter part of my life. I always skip around it if it comes up with Ben. 

"She left. Right after I was born. Gave me to dad and then vanished. I don't know where she is," I answer, fidgeting with my hands. It's a sensitive topic I try to ignore but I get people are curious. I mean I would be too. 

"I'm sorry, Aria," Lucy tells me. 

I shake my head. "Don't be. I had dad, and then Brian. Technically Brian and Roger since they are always together," 

"Do you ever talk to Deaky?"

I scrunch my lips. Yes I do now sometimes, and he did secretly come to set that one time. But I decide to keep his privacy sacred. 

"Once or twice. Not often," I vaguely answer. I sigh. "I desperately want him to reunite with Brian and Rog,"

"Me too and I don't even know them as well as you do," Lucy admits, laughing slightly. I laugh too but I quickly cramp up in my lower region. I wince. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I say through gritted teeth. "Just cramped,"

"That's not good," Lucy frowns. "Are you on your period?"

"No I'm n-" I start, but my eyes go wide. I'm late. 

"Aria?" Lucy asks when I don't answer. I give her a wide eyed expression. 

"I'm late," I whisper. Lucy's eyes widen and she sits up straight. I follow. 

"That could be anything," Lucy says quickly. "Stress could make you late,"

That's true. Stress can mess up anything an I've definitely been stressed beyond belief. But what about my emotions being everywhere?

"I've also been really emotional lately, Luce. I thought it was just me being dramatic but what if it wasn't?"

"Well, have you been nauseous or faint?" Lucy asks. I sigh. My head is spinning. "Have you used protection?"she whispers the last part. 

"Yeah, I think..."

"What do you mean you think?"

"I don't know," I say, getting frazzled. "Ben just puts it on. I never pay attention,"

I groan. This is not what I need right now. 

"We need to go to the store, Luce. I won't be able to sleep tonight if we don't," I tell my friend. She gives me a sympathetic look when the reality of what's going on settles in.

I need to go buy a pregnancy test. 

...

ooof