My Teacher Affair- Thomas Jefferson x Reader

Measure your life in love

*rant+me spilling tea*
This isn't a rant about me feeling depressed or self conscious as usual, this is about my worst fears. A month ago if you asked me what my greatest fear was I'd say, "Don't have one." It's not that i was fearless, it's just that, I was scared of many things and nothing scared me enough to make it my worst fear. So, one night I was thinking, "why do i care so much about finding love or having a boyfriend/girlfriend/other? And how come I don't have a worst fear?" Then I realized. I care so much about love because my worst fear. My very worst fear. Is to be alone. Alone in this universe. Alone for the rest of my life. To feel more like an outcast than I already do. I just can't take that. You may be wondering, "ya okay, where's the tea than?" Well......my friend Andrew(his name isn't Andrew I'm just not using his real name) told me that this boy Xavier likes me. I walked away and said "ya right." A few weeks later he tells me "Dude, he likes you, he told me." And I was like, "ya okay, you may be my buddy but I don't believe that." A week later he tells me. "Bro, like Xavier(u kno him from New Comers) really likes you." And so I took it under consideration. I have noticed that he's been talking to me way less, and I've caught him looking at me a few times, and he has seemed fairly nicer to me wishing in the last like 10 words he's said to me in like 3 weeks. Than Andrew and I were talking about it again and I was like, "well he is cute I guess." And he started dying and becoming this weird ass fangirl. He told Xavier I said that.
He.
Told.
Him.
I.
Said.
He.
Is.
Cute.
Now everyone and I mean everyone knows and thinks I like him(I don't. Or at least I don't think I do). So now I'm just like "SHIT!" And Andrew was like "you think he's cute and he likes you so why don't you just start dating?" And you would've thought we would start dating being on how I'm SO DESPERATE. But Idk I'm like scared or something. Scared of having my heart break to even MORE pieces. Idk just please put in the comments what u think about the situation.