Sanders Sides Boiz Oneshots

Lizards [Moxiety] (Non-Binary Pride AU)

I have a bunch of lizards in my backyard so this is kinda-not-so-much personal experience lol. Sorry in advance for this being most exposition Andy being really terrible.

STORYTIME!

They just moved in the neighborhood. The weird Queer couple that makes the best casserole. Everyone in the neighborhood knew exactly what they were dealing with the second they moved in. First of all you got your normal essntric gay man. That's Patton, the sweetest thing alive. He cooks all the best foods and dreams of being a Dad one day. The only reason people can't label the relationship as "gay" or "homosexual" is because his partner. His enbyfriend. Virgil was a non-binary lover who was kind of emo but wrote the best songs. They both opened their own child daycare in the community center, right next to the Kroger's and the Verizon. 

They were sweet and kind, but a lot of adults were scared of them. The kids loved them and some accepting parents became their friends, but a lot of neighborhood people worried that they were trying to turn everyone gay or push their agenda on everyone. That wasn't the case at all. They just wanted to be married and lead a happy life in a place where their marriage and adopting children together was legal. They just wanted to live the small community life they dreamed of. 

Today was Sunday, the two closed their daycare center on Sundays to give respect to those that are religious and to give Virgil a much-needed break. Virgil gets drained easily, especially from their childhood. The two of them lay in their backyard in the grass, holding hands. They stare up at the clouds and watch time pass by. This is exactly what the two of them wanted. What else could life give them other than a child or seven who needs them? Patton really wants a big family. Patton is a family man. However Virgil simply isn't ready to take care of so many kids. Virgil was thinking about the very subject when suddenly they jerked to a sitting up position. Patton was confused.

"Virgil? What's wrong baby?"

Patton sat up and then he saw. There was a lizard in their lap, on its back and flailing to be flipped around. Virgil was panicking and trying to help the lizard of their leg and back into the grass, but the lizard didn't seem to want to cooperate. Instead of falling the way Virgil wanted it to, it toppled the other way  and fell between Virgil's legs. Patton tried to contain his giggles, but it was no use. Patton started laughing, causing the non-binary pal's face to go entirely red in embarassment. Sometimes Virgil's face goes red for no reason, so this wasn't uncommon to see. Virgil fumbled to stand up, trying their very best not to step on the lizard and crush the poor thing to death. Virgil moved to the side and sat back down in a hurry. The Lizard was still, tiny abdomen quickly expanding and constricting. Poor thing must have thought it was going to die. Patton decided he would play with the Lizard.

"Hello Mister, Madam, or non Gender Specific Lizard! What are you doing in our backyard? Do you have a family we can return you to or were you just so awestrucken by my Significant Other's beauty that you couldn't help yourself?"

Patton grinned when he heard Virgil try to dismiss the thought. Virgil always hated it when Patton complimented him like that. Virgil also loves being called "Significant Other" and "Enbyfriend" over the other gender neutral titles. The other sound too cliché or sound too much like a meme. Their words not Patton's. Patton laid down on his stomach, facing the Lizard. His glasses were a little bit foggy for no reason, but that's okay. The tiny reptile looked at Patton with its tiny bead eyes. He looked up to see Virgil crawling on the grass over to Patton, careful not to scare their tiny friend, and mimicked his position.

"Or did you confuse me for my lovely husband and try to use me as a stepping stool to get to him? I would have done the same thing in your shoes Mister, Madam, or non Gender Specific Lizard."