Sanders Sides Boiz Oneshots

Snacktime Smiles [Moxiety] (Parents AU)

I literally ate an orange and thought of this. #NoRegrets

STORYTIME!

It was snacktime. Three in the afternoon. Virgil rounded up the rowdy triplets that Patton begged him to adopt AS WELL AS A BULL TERRIER WHAT WAS THAT MAN THINKING and sat them down at the dinner table. Patton was humming, wearing his pastel pink apron that read kiss the cook on the front, while preparing the snack for the three three year olds. They all were gurgling and Virgil was just tired st this point, slumping down in his chair and pushing his bangs off of his forehead, kids are tough. Parenting is tough. He was so lucky that the dog was in the backyard keeping himself busy.

"Alright Sanderses, Snacktime is Served."

Silence fell as plates of fruit made themselves present before each of them. Sadly, the parents didn't have their own plate. They don't have snacktime. They eat whenever they feel like it. ADULTRY BABY WOO. There were apple slices, pear slices, orange slices, grapes, and a small bit of cantaloupe. Virgil was just glad that Patton didn't bust out the watermelon. That was supposed to be reserved for them on date night this Saturday. Rest In Peace teenage babysitter. They deserve picnic night on their anniversary.

Virgil had already stolen a grape from his son and put it in his mouth when the first of the triplets sniffled. Oh no. No temper tantrums. He watched them all look at eachother and furrow their tiny eyebrows. Virgil panickedly looked over at Patton. His brain was too fried to come up with a solution. Patton noticed this too and couldn't help his eyes from going wide. Patton ran to the cutting board and got this giant hunk of pear. He stuck it in his mouth and curled his lips around, pretending that the pear was his mouth. He mumbled around it to get the kids' attention.

"Look at me! I'm Mister Pear!"

He started doing a dorky little dance that made even Virgil Snicker. Only two of them were pleased. Sunshine and Joy, the two girls, started giggling and clapping at their Papa's weird little attempt at dancing. Ray, however, wasn't having it. He crossed his arms and pouted at the fruit piled on his plate instead of a different snack. One was much better to deal with than three. Virgil had to think of something for little Ray. He got an idea. He took one of his pears and two of the oranges to make a smiley face. Virgil was lucky that Paton bought those tiny seedless Halps or else this wouldn't work. 

"Hey, Ray, check it out. Your snack made a little happy face. I wonder what else you could make with those shapes. Maybe even more smiles."

Ray gasped and started making a little fort out of fruit, munching in the grapes because he found no need for them. Patton noticed that Virgil's plan was a lot less energy consuming and humiliated him less. He crunched into the pear and took the reminent out, holding it behind his back so the girls wouldn't see. He stood between the chairs the girls were sitting in and he grabbed an apple slice. They always go after the crisper ones and Patton despises Granny Smith so no green. He took it and balanced it on Sunshine's nose, causing her to gasp and made Joy instantly try it on her own nose. Ray didn't notice. He was too busy making  fruit fortress of doom.

"Joy! Joy! It stays! It stays!"

"I wanna stay! I wanna Apple on nose!"

Virgil couldn't help but feel instantly rejuvenated by How adorable his daughters were. Patton noticed this out of the corner of his eye and took a mental note for it. Patton took an apple slice from Joy's plate and balanced it on her nose. Now the two were fighting to see how long they could keep it on their nose. Checking back in on Ray, he already ate all of his grapes and half of the oranges. He always hated Pears. Virgil even thought about sneakily calling him Dr. Who over that fact. But he's just a three year old.  He's not cultured enough to get that reference. Virgil needed to find a way to get Ray to demolish his fortress and eat the rest, because he was clearly proud of his creation.