Sanders Sides Boiz Oneshots

Fixing the Script [Prinxiety]

Not going to lie, this is my least favorite ship. Clearly there are better people for both characters and the whole ordeal seems overrated. It's like for Roman, Logince does it better. For Virgil, there are better relationships for him with better chances to not turn toxic on his part. It just seems like the wrong ship to become overrated. Just my thoughts...

STORYTIME!

Virgil was sitting on Roman's Dresser in the actual bedroom part of his room while Roman was doin good a few practice reads over his monologue. See, Thomas was goin for to audition for a play in his local theater and he needed to do an audition, but these directors already saw all the monologues he had prepared. Roman found one he really liked and was working on memorizing it before even adding any of his usual pizzaz to it. Virgil was just here to listen and make fun of him at any moment. What? They're dating! He's allowed to do that!

"I would like to say something your honor, not on my behalf, but in reference to my partner, Mr. Bialystock....your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Max Bialystock is the most selfish man I ever met in my life...Not only is he liar, and a cheat and a scoundrel, and a crook, who has taken money from little old ladies, he has also talked people into doing things, especially me, that they would never in a thousand years had dreamed of doing. No no that's no good. This doesn't include the wonderful Non-Binary and Agender royalty out there! Virgil! Help me with this!"

Roman begged, dragging out his voice and whining like a little Veruca Salt. Virgil, who was completely paying attention (not, Deceit has been rubbing off on him. Sarcasm is great.) only heard the fact that Roman needed help and something about Agender people. Probably his normal problem he has with monologues when it's not inclusive to everyone on the gender spectrum. Normally he just adds the term Non-binary to the phrase but since this is some hoity toity monologue done by some defense attorney it probably said "ladies and gentlemen" so Virgil was just going to go off that assumption and be a good boyfriend by helping his boyfriend.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, and Polite People of another Binary. You know, for formality."

Roman pauses for a moment, thinking about it. Girls and Boys are the Binary genders, so saying that the other Binary is the others isn't wrong. Great now he sounds like Logan! He doesn't want to sound like that emotionless robot. Ah, yes! People of another Binary would work wonderfully! This is extactly why he needs Virgil in his life!

"You're brilliant, Virgil! There's no way I could make it without you!"

Yes, that was an Austin & Ally reference. Anybody know that show? Comment down below! Hold up this isn't a YouTube video, yet that phrase still stands true. Such a discorded conundrum! Back to the actual story, Roman leaned over and pressed a quick kiss onto Virgil's nose before confining his lines. Meanwhile Virgil as completely panicking and squealing like a little fanboy on the inside. He still gets like a little piggy inside when he is given affection like a kiss. Kisses make Virgil a squealy boi.

"But, your honor, as I understand it the law was created to protect people from being wronged. Your honor, whom has Max Bialystock wronged? I mean, whom has he really hurt? Not me. Not me. I was.... this man.... no one ever called me Leo before. I mean, I know it's not a big legal point, but even in kindergarten they used to call me Bloom. I never sang a song before. I mean with someone else, I never sang a song with someone else before. This man.... this man... this is a wonderful man. He made me what I am today...he did. And what of the dear ladies? What would their lives have been without Max Bialystock? Max Bialystock, who made them feel young, and attractive, and wanted again. That's all I have to say. Yet again it unincludes the wonderful people elsewhere on the gender spectrum... I have to add in something along the lines of the previous examples but what? Virgil, have any ideas?"

Aha, this time Virgil was paying attention. He has to think of something to put before "that's all I have to say". Maybe this character Roman could be portraying was defending people who don't identify as either a boy or girl. Defending them and making them feel valid, kind of like Thomas's good friend Joan. He should probably just bullshit a bunch of words and let Roman revise. It's weird how the Creativity, the Ego, the Prince is asking the Anxiety for help on wordplay. Well, Roman did say before in some Sanders Sides video he isn't the wordsy feelsy Side. Virgil is definitely a feelsy Side. Alright let's take a crack at this:

"How about... And to all others who don't identify as Ladies nor Gentlemen?!  Who would they have to turn to so that they could feel validated, like they matter, like they could finally be open about who they were themselves?! That's right. None other than Max Bialystock. Does that sound about right?"

Roman thought about it a minute. That did sound about right. He conjured a black pen and fixed the monologue on the paper, adding in everything that he needed to so that the monologue could be inclusive of all people, not just those of Binary genders. Roman grinned and put both down on his bed. Roman walked over to the dressed and out his hands underneath Virgil's arms like a cat. Virgil was confused until Roman slid him off the dresser. 

Scared, Virgil clung to Roman. He wrapped his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist. He flinched really hard when Roman kissed him deeply. He kissed him deeply and roughtly until they both ran out of air. Roman sat down on the bed, forgetting about the paper and pen. Luckily he didn't sit on them, however Virgil was sitting on his lap and they both stared at eachtoher for a moment. Roman then breathed out a deep, bright smile that made the sun itself jealous.

"I love you, Virge."

Virgil chuckled.

"Love you roo, Ro."

1048 Words

It's really late at night so I should probably get some sleep. I'm so thankful for weekends. I noticed how I didn't have any prinxiety whatsoever and that's a crime so I did it. I still mildly dislike the ship, but I will do it if requested.

Requests Are open btw. And AUs are allowed.

Remember to care for yourself. Self care is the first step to happiness. If you like your body, you will learn to like your mind too. You don't have to like your body, you can accept it. Accepting your body is the first baby step to happiness. Internet hugs and blow kisses!

~Eva