Sanders Sides Boiz Oneshots

Put it on Paper [Logince] (Genderfluid Pride AU)

So this is a request from my lovely friend -JustAnEditor- and they are simply amazing and I love them. Please follow them! 

STORYTIME!

How am I supposed to express myself when I don't have a voice? All I have is my attire, and this old notebook where I write down everything.

Logan walked down the halls, gaining curious glances again. He had made the decision from the very beginning of high school to go through the entire thing as if he was mute. He would use different accessories to showcase this by placing them over his mouth. Sometimes it's a bandana, sometimes it's simply duct tape, and sometimes it's a ribbon. It depends on the day, just like how he dresses and expresses himself. Logan doesn't have a term for this, but the best word he could conjure was fluid. But he can't tell anyone, or else he'd forfeit his experiment. And so far, his hypothesis had been a success. 

It was a psychology experiment. It was to record reactions of various students, wether physical like their facial expression or emotional based on what they say, about his alternating attire. But the attire switch wasn't because of the experiment, no. The attire switch was because of something within Logan that they could not name. A switch from masculinity to femininity to a neutrality to a combination, day after day with no pattern. Logan normally isnt a person to act upon feeling, but this was the one thing they were sure they were supposed to obey. If they don't obey this, their life becomes hell.

Just write it down. You can hand this to your therapist when you see her on Thursday. Maybe then you can finally be ready to open up about this strange phenomenon and get a term. Maybe after you get a term, you can understand what you're doing.

The school bell rang. That meant it was time for everyone to go to afterschool activities or go home. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays Logan has found themselves as a part of the Literature Club with three other people who aren't exactly the easiest to read around. Two of them are hyperactive and have less refined tastes than themself, but Virgil is cool. They're awesome. The best non-binary pal they had ever met. Logan took their notebook, ready to write down a few things, and then just read in a corner. Scholarships like afterschool activities after all. 

Logan found their corner and sat in It. They wrote down some results in their little experiment notebook and then took out their actual book. It was a small read, but a good one. Tombquest. Patton had actually recommended it to them. The bouncy trans boy was always so happy to see everyone in his Literature Club smile. Logan was halfway through the book, so they quickly flipped back to the page they finished on an hour earlier during free time in class and began reading. It didn't take long for the last member to not be mentioned in the Literature Club to find his way towards Roman. His name was Roman. Logan doesn't know his full identity, but he isn't proud to be a male.

"Hey Logan! Guess you don't exactly want to talk since you kinda can't, but I wanna hang out with you today! You're always a bum in the corner like Jack Smellington. You gotta lighten up a little!"

Logan simply stared at his dreamy smile. He and Patton were one in the same. Both sunny, both extroverts, both unaware of Logan's introverted boundaries. Logan sighed and picked up their notebook. Put it all on paper, huh? Maybe Roman could help Logan out with their many problems they're working through. Despite being overly confident and loud, Roman had been known to help people out with their problems more often than not. He is also quite knowledgeable about the gender spectrum. Maybe Logan doesn't need to embarass themself in front of their therapist and risk family loss. 

Just put it on paper, idiot. Or just hand him the entire damn thing. Never mind, he's an idiot,. He won't understand half the things you write. Just scribble something down or something. Damn it, why are you trusting him of all people? Right. He's dumbly reliable. 

Logan finished writing down what they wanted to convert and handed it to Roman. Roman looked over it once, twice, maybe three times. This was a big deal for Logan. They had all this backstory going into this, however Roman didn't seem like he was taking it too weirdly. It confused Logan. Roman held out his hand. Logan gave him the pen and he started scribbling down something underneath his detailed explanation of the confusion they were dealing with. Roman smiled as he handed the notebook and pen back, as if proud that Logan was quote unquote "coming out".

Genderfluid? What does that mean!? If there's a term for this, did that mean that this sort of gender "dysphoria" is normal? Is this an actual identity I can use for myself? It sounds nice... doesn't it? It feels right. Maybe I am "Genderfluid".

"See? No need to worry. Completely normal. I can tell your freaking out, XJ9. You're actually expression emotion on your face. Do you need me to stay with you and help you work through some stuff?"

Logan pauses before nodding slowly. Roman happily sits next to him and Logan places down their book. The pair of them spend the entire time conversing via notebook and discovering more about Logan's confusing gender identity. The next day, Logan was proud to be who they were. Logan was proudly Genderfluid and Roman was supportive every step of the way. Oh, and so were Virgil and Patton.

All Logan had to do was put it on paper.

961 Words

I had no ideas where to take this lol.

No advice, just do you boo.

~Eva