Fighting Fears

Chapter 9

I paced up and down the length of the waiting room. "Winter you're going to wear a hole in the floor." Kirishima tried to lighten the mood. "They can fix it." I snapped. "Look, we all know you're worried. We are too. But exhausting yourself won't help anyone." Iida reminded me. I glared at him before sighing, sitting down on the spot. "That idiot, what was he thinking?" I muttered, not to anyone in particular. "From what I know about suicide, people may do it if they can't deal with guilt anymore. He took it the worst of the two of us, and I don't mean the expelling. He's strong, but the broken look in his eyes was something I hadn't ever thought possible." Midoriya said quietly. "He feels terrible about what he said."

I know that. I feel terrible about not stopping my parents. I know what it's like to know someone else is in pain, and you've just made it worse.

I closed my eyes, resting my chin on my knees as I drew my legs up towards my chest. We had been waiting for hours now, with still no word on our friend. "I hope he's okay." Mineta whimpered, hiding under a chair. "He better be. I'm going to yell at him the second he's awake." Bakugo growled. "Nobody's yelling at anyone!" Iida jumped to his feet. "Calm down, Class Rep." The short-tempered boy retorted. "You really think I'd yell at him?" Taking the comment in, Iida sat back down. Finally, after what seemed like years, a nurse came in. "Are you all class 1-A?" She asked. We nodded. "Your friend is out of surgery. You may, in pairs, go see him, however, I'm going to warn you there's an 87 percent chance he's not going to pull through." She said cautiously. There was a silent pause. "Winter, do you want to go first or last?" Ochaco asked. "I'll go last," I muttered.

I was barely aware of my classmates coming and going, the beeps and clacks of the hospital, the sterile scent. At one point someone sat with me on the floor, offering me water. Eventually, I was shaken out of my daze. "It's your turn." Ochaco murmured. I slowly stood up, trudging to the next room. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" She asked, hand on the doorknob. "No," I replied without emotion.

The cold feeling grew into an aching pain as I saw him. He looked so weak, machines and cords everywhere. Bandages wrapped around his body, cuts, and stitches, trash cans filled with bloody gauze. The monitor emitted a slow, steady beeping. Other than that, it was silent. I dragged myself towards the edge of the hospital bed, my arms hanging limply at my sides.

Why would you do this... I'm not worth this. You don't even know me... damnit... I never should have agreed to come to this school.

You were right. I am a monster. I might not have directly killed someone, but I've already claimed my first victim. Shit, I'm so sorry!

I rose the temperature in my face to quickly turn my tears to steam before anyone could see, cooling myself off a minute later. "I swear, if you don't wake up, I will bring you back to life and kill you myself," I whispered. "You can't do this. You've got your whole life ahead of you. What happened to wanting to be a hero? You're really going to give that up because of something you said to me? Someone you don't even know? Well, that's just stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I hissed, gripping the rails on the side of the bed to support myself. "You don't get to throw that away!" I shook my head, blinking away the tears. "Don't die. Please..."