Fighting Fears

Chapter 14

Blood. I couldn't smell anything but blood. The stench of iron was overwhelming. I shook my head, growling in attempt to get rid the smell. Opening my eyes, I saw everything in red. None of the regular colors I'd see, just shades of red. Surrounded by unfamiliar scenery, I turned in a circle, trying to figure out where I was. Looking down, I saw the paws of my snow leopard form. I tried to change back to my human form, but it wasn't working. I tried to speak in the human language, but all I heard was a roar. The ground shook at the thundering noise. It was then I realized there was a darker red splattered across my off-white, pale red at the moment, paws. Gingerly, I lifted my head with a feeling that something was off.

I immediately wished I hadn't looked up. There were bodies everywhere. Torn to shreds, ripped apart, drying foam around their mouths. The scent of blood filled my senses. Deep down, I had this tugging urge to find more. Fresh blood, and lots of it. I let out a low growl, stalking towards the only three moving forms. I heard faint voices, drowned out by the beating of my heart. Something told me to stop, but I couldn't. Soon I was towering over the three. They looked at me in fear. "Winter-" "Better- this..." I couldn't make out full sentences. All I saw was the fear in their eyes. The same fear I had witnessed for five years. The same fear I tried to rid myself of. The same fear I wanted to forget. With one last plea, I roared, and my vision blacked out.

When I could see again, color had returned. But there was still red. Fresh blood seeping out of the newly-inflicted wounds. I was in my human form once more. "No... NO, PLEASE NO!" I shouted. "I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THIS!" I cried. "WAKE UP, PLEASE! WAKE UP!" They didn't move. They weren't even themselves anymore. Just pieces of their former selves.

"I always knew she'd give in." An all-too-familiar voice sneered. My ears flattened as I whipped around to see who I thought had left my life for good. "YOU." I snarled. "Yes. I, and your father. We are so proud of you, dear." Insanity smiled. It sent a shiver down my spine. "We always knew you had it in you. Our blood runs in your veins for you to spill the blood of others." Death Row growled. "Took a little longer than we had hoped, but you did have to get close to them, which unfortunately took a very, very long time, considering the walls you had built up. But you let them in, and gave in to your instincts." Insanity explained. "I-" They were swept away and I saw blackness once more.

As the scene returned, I saw someone else. "You promised." My brother whispered. I felt the guilt drag me down, like I was being crushed, as he gestured to the massacre. "You promised, Winter."

Gasping, I shot upwards, falling off my bed. Luckily the other girls were out cold. Heart pounding, I shakily got to my feet, repeatedly telling myself it was just a nightmare. Somehow, when I snapped out of my phase, I noticed I had walked to the edge of the massive, flat-topped mountain. Looking back, I saw faint footprints trailing all the way back to the dark cabin that had a faint orange glow emitting from one of the windows, smoke slowly trailing out into the starry sky. I turned to face the miles and miles of white in front of me, while I carefully lowered myself to the ground, sitting with my legs hanging off the edge.

Tilting my head upwards, I looked at the sky. The crescent moon seemed to curl around a single star that glowed brighter than all the others. I knew who it was.

"Kasey... I'm sorry. I know that nightmare wasn't just a nightmare. It was a sign. I've already broken the promise. I let them in. Shit, I tried! I tried not to, I really did!" I grit my teeth. "I don't want to know them. They're... they're good people. They're just kids with a united goal in life; to grow up and save those who need someone. They want to be that someone, and you know what'll happen if I stay here. I'll mess up, and I'll destroy their lives. I'll get them killed, just like I got you killed. I almost did. It was my fault he tried to kill himself. I don't even know how he's still alive. I saw those scars. He should be dead," I trailed off, hands curling into fists. "Why isn't he dead, Kasey? Are you trying to tell me something?" I stared up at the star, hoping for an answer. Of course, there was no response. "I'm not meant to be here. Damnit, why did you leave me?! I can't do this! I can't go on with this guilt! I was bred for destruction and pain! What did you see in me? What did you see in me that was enough for me to live? Huh? Because I sure as hell don't see it, Kasey! YOU KNOW WHAT I AM! THEY KNOW WHAT I AM! I'M A MONSTER!" I shouted, blinking away tears that were falling down my face. The star continued shining. Frustrated, I let out a scream, drawing my knees to my chest so I could bury my face against my legs, sobbing quietly.

Todoroki's POV

I was struggling to sleep. It felt like something was telling me to stay awake. Hearing a loud thud, I gave up, stepping out of the guys' room. The front door shook a little, snow kicked inside, indicating that someone had just left. I frowned, going back to my bed and picking up a blanket. I walked to the front door, put my shoes on, wrapped the blanket around my shoulders, and headed outside. It was freezing out here.

Maybe I should use my quirk to stay warm...

I thought before realizing that if I was going to follow this person, I couldn't give myself away. As I carefully followed them, the snow began to fall more heavily. However at the edge of the mountain the moon still shone, along with part of the sky. There was a dark form sitting at the edge. Getting closer, I began to pick up on whatever they were saying.

Wait... that sounds like... Winter?

I frowned, staying still so I could listen. "What did you see in me? What did you see in me that was enough for me to live? Huh? Because I sure as hell don't see it, Kasey! YOU KNOW WHAT I AM! THEY KNOW WHAT I AM! I'M A MONSTER!" Winter screamed, curling into a ball. The thick clouds covered the moon, leaving us in darkness.

You're not a monster...

I felt guilty. I knew I had called her that earlier this year, and despite the fact that she had forgiven me, I hadn't forgiven myself.

Why didn't anyone realize she felt this way? Why didn't I realize she was hurting? God, I'm so stupid! How can I ever call myself a hero if I can't even notice a grieving friend.

I closed my eyes, wiping away the forming tears.

This is no time to feel sorry for myself.

I shook away my thoughts, walking towards her. Carefully, I wrapped the blanket around her shoulders so it covered her, and sat down. Winter looked over at me for a moment before glancing away, basically signaling I could stay.

Neither of us spoke. I knew she didn't want to talk, so I didn't either. The two of us just sat there on the edge of the cliff. I might've been horrible at comforting people, but at that moment, I think my presence was enough.