In Order to Stay Alive, I Think I Have to Kill My Mind

The Harsh Reality of Heartbreak

I feel alone again.

I feel like I have nobody.

You aren't even sorry about hurting me. You go around and act like everything's fine. Like nothing happened.

I feel as though, if you really cared about me, you wouldn't have hurt me. It breaks my heart to know I can't trust you anymore.

I've spent so long covering my pain that it's beginning to leak out. I hate that my depression is a sinkhole so deep, no one can hear my screams for help.

I just hope you know, you were willing to cause me so much pain, just to get what you wanted. You always get what you want, and I feel like I get nothing.

I hate you so much but I can't let you go. Why do I feel like this?

Did you find any pleasure in breaking my heart? I'm at a point where I still feel for you and hate you at the same time.

Hell, not gonna lie, still in love with you. I absolutely cannot stand the thought of you with another person. I know this sounds stupid but this is literally how I feel. It sounds creepy and stalker-ish, but it hurts. What you did, hurts.

I have to live with it though. I have to forget about you just like you forgot about me. I'm sad again, but everyone's sick of hearing about it. I've lost interest in everything. I can't be motivated to do anything.

It would be nice if you were actually there for me at one point, but you're far from what I need right now. I feel like it's okay to cut myself off from you because you hurt me. Even though it makes me sad, I think it's best for me to let go. Being around you and seeing you with her, hurts. It hurts so much

I've never loved myself, so how did I end up falling in love with you? If i'm not actually feeling love, what am I feeling?

Everyone tells me everything is going to be okay, but it's not. I'm so sick of everyone asking me if I'm okay and giving me that pitiful look.

You started rumours about me.

You talked to me sister about me, without me knowing and I found out.

You managed to tell your whole class I'm suicidal.

You told me I was getting too clingy and attached.

Maybe I was getting clingy and attached because you stopped talking to me. You stopped replying to my texts. You ignored me. We were in a relationship, but it didn't feel like one. Maybe i got clingy and attached because I needed to feel loved, like someone was there for me, someone to talk to.

I try to be happy but I'm so sick of pretending all the time. I want to be able to express my feelings without being judged. I want to feel okay. I fell in love and you broke me. I hope you're happy because I'm not.

My heart aches for you.

I miss you and I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.