WHEN THE EXAM comes closer seolmin feels anxious. she feels like her body is reacting like there's a gorilla about to beat the shit out of her instead of being faced with a sheet of chemistry questions. in the cool of the classroom she can ace this stuff, seolmin knows, she can.
the transparent bags, pencil cases, boards and last minute flash cards were all out. exam season was finally here.
seolmin clutched her transparent bag with blue lining tight as she accidentally hit her head against the window during the bumpy car ride to school.
"oops sorry..you good there?" seolmin's step brother doyoung glances over the petite girl through the mirror. he turns up the volume when seolmin's favourite joji song comes on shuffle.
"hey chill, you're gonna do great. there's no point of cramping shit inside your head now." doyoung suggests the poor girl who's too busy reading through hundreds of different notes and making a mess in the backseat.
"if i don't do good, you're the one who's gonna bully me for not getting into yonsei. i need extra points for yonsei." seolmin retorts and goes back to reading her chemistry notes.
the rest of the car ride was silent with doyoung occasionally humming to the soft jpop music playing in the background. seolmin finally looked up after packing her huge pile of papers inside her bag. the streets filled with students from their schools in bicycles, some of them walking whilst reading through the huge piles of notes. the car rocks them from side to side as they travel these familiar roads, our brains afforded the time to daydream or rest.
"sis, don't panic, give your test! you're gonna do great!" doyoung stops the car infront of the huge school gate and looks back at her. she smiles and nods, "thanks, it means a lot! love you."
school hallways filled with people from all the grades, shoving each other to take a look of the seating plan. seolmin's eyes find her group of friends, sitting on the stairs, panicking with files in their hands. "hi! how's the prep?" seolmin leans against the staircase and looks down at hana and hyejoo sharing the chemistry file.
"really bad. but you don't have any right to talk, you're gonna get an A anyways." hyejoo sighs and looks up at seolmin. "no comment!" seolmin laughs. "your lover boy is there." heejin points at the other side hallway and seolmin quickly notices jaemin walking with a transparent bag in his hand. "what-no!" seolmin screeches.
jaemin's eyes meet seolmin's but he quickly looks away and walks down the hallway to go the group of boys standing near the auditoriums. "damn your lover boy ignored you." hyejoo chuckles, still looking at her flash cards. "that locker thing was just an one time thing, we're nothing." seolmin retorts.
seolmin rocked back and forth on the metal chair. when her eyes flitted to the small window to the examination room they left again just as quickly. how was an ordinary door so hard to look at? it made no sense. in there was a desk, a paper, a pencil. in few minutes time her fate was sealed one way or the other. she choked down the rising bile and consciously flexed her hand, feeling at last the pain of her nails digging into her palm.
the school bell punctured the near silence she almost bit her tongue in two. she rose, oblivious to the bleach tinctured air and rested her fingers for the last time on the flash cards.
"good luck! you're gonna do great anyways." heejin throws up a thumbs up across the hallway and smiles at her, soon disappearing into the other room. her fingers rested on the cold metal door knob, anxiously, these exams are really going to decide her future university, job whatsoever.
"um excuse me.." jaemin and donghyuck stood behind, waiting for her to move. "oh- i'm sorry." she quickly walks inside the class giving enough space for jaemin and donghyuck to walk in along with few sophomores and juniors.
"isn't this your seat?" a sophomore, seolmin remembers as jisung points at the seat behind his. "yes! thank you, i have been looking for it."
she thanks the younger one and takes a sit, placing her transparent goods in the desks. she glances back at jaemin, sitting a few seats away from her. she mouths a quick good luck and earning a bright smile from jaemin.a day of hassle left for seolmin only. she's happy with all the exams she has given, even though she cheated in the geography exam when the invigilator was too busy looking after her manicure.
the entire week went by of jaemin and her only texting after exam hours, glancing at each other while revising at two ends of the hallway and seolmin feeling a pair of eyes at her only to see jaemin with a luminous smile mouthing good lucks.