JAEMIN LEANS AGAINST the lockers behind seolmin trying to take a peek of the letter in her hand. "pretty sure it's a dumb promposal or some shit like that. i'll open it later." she says and proceeds to keep it in the back of her school bag. "no please i'm really curious to see who writes a letter in 2018." jaemin pouts and convinces the girl to read the letter. "you're so annoying!" she mumbles and unfolds the piece of paper. "oh look- it's not handwritten!" she adds.
"seolmin,
im pretty sure your gonna be with jaemin by the time you read it lol anyways so i can see you having fun with him i see. it gets annoying sometimes to see you guys under the bleachers during lunch. great to see a sore loser like jaemin has someone before me. he might be making you happy but let me say this, jaemin specifically said he's gonna try to do some shit with to get that badge. and you're a dumbass for falling for it and giving it up. remember what jeno said in that party? you forgot.
from someone very close to you."
"what does it say?" jaemin smiles and his gaze shifts to her face, her eyes almost glassy. "what happene-," jaemin tries to comfort her. "don't. just go!" she yanks his arms away from her. "you know jeno was right about you? i don't wanna believe this letter honestly but everything is making sense now." she yells as tears streamed down her rosy cheeks.
the tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. she felt the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child and I look toward the window, as if the light could soothe me. jaemin crumbles the paper in his hand and looks at her. "look i can ex-" she cuts him off, "don't just dont. go home and don't talk to me." she storms off leaving jaemin and his broken heart behind.
jaemin drags himself up the stairs to his room without greeting his mom with a cheeky smile. this heartbreak feels cold. can he even call it a heartbreak? it was his fault. he wants to beat himself up for being naive and immature. he throws the badge and it lands somewhere near his bed. jaemin cried, cried for being exactly like his father, crying for hurting someone. images of his father flashes back from the back of his mind again as tears rolled down his cheeks.
__
the path to forgetting about seolmin seemed far to steep, fate determined failure waiting for him at the top. jaemin promised himself with puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks, it's best to forget about her, she didn't deserve it. his promised seemed to have vanished the next morning when he saw her sitting on the stairs with her friends, the literature book on her lap, her prescribed metal frame glasses which she rarely wears resting on the bridge of her nose.
he was lost and lonely now. he was too scared and coward to talk to jeno again, scared of getting hurt again. he knows whatever jeno said was in the moment of heat, but that doesn't stop him from getting scared. he has no reason to sulk over a girl, especially after he got the badge from her, the thing he wanted the most.
"hey man! what's good." donghyuck patted his back and sat beside him on the metal benches of the cafeteria. he grabs the untouched toast from jaemin's tray and takes a bite, "you're not hungry?" he asks. "no." jaemin replies with in a monotone voice. donghyuck notices, "did anything happen?" jaemin finally looks at him with his bloodshot eyes and dark circles. "oh damn i think i know what happen-" jaemin cuts him off, "no you don't."
donghyuck rests his chin of his hands and shifts closer to him, "i don't understand, what happened?" jaemin sighs, "she got to know everything." donghyuck's smile finally fades into a frown.
"oh did you talk to her about it?" donghyuck asks. "she probably blocked me and won't even look at me. as if like i don't exist." jaemin looked down and playing with the disposable spoon.
"tell me something honestly..do you like her? i mean you got what you wanted." he points at the badge.
jaemin looks away and starts "i thought it was just a silly crush i had on her. is it normal to cry over a girl?" he looks at donghyuck.
donghyuck chuckles, "we have some serious issue here. you like her dumbass and you ruined it. try to fix everything yourself now."
