Apocalyptic Me

1.17 Too Far Gone

I open my eyes, staring at a white ceiling. I rub my eyes and get up. As I walk to my bathroom I hear people laughing and talking outside. I think about last night, how Jack could do something like that to Aaron. And how Angel became... like that, I wasn't gone for that long, was I? I should probably go talk to Max, about how we're doing on ammo. I wash my face, comb my hair, brush my teeth and get dressed. As I leave my room I bump in to Eric who apparently was waiting for me, since my room is in the very back of the hallway and there's nothing much to find here except Lucy's room and Jack and Alex's room. "Hi Julian, I heared you were back, so I brought you these." He says as he holds up a few flowers, "Some decoration for your room, since all your other plants died while you were away." I push him away and walk past him. I can hear him walk behind me. I don't care, most people here hurt me, and that's okay, but I don't want to hurt them. I feel his hand on my shoulder and I turn around, "Stop following me! You had your chance and you ruined it!" He stops for a minute before relying to my outburst, "Come on Julian, everyone was panicking! I get it, I was picked Alex's side, but he's just a kid!" I chuckle, "Just a kid?! He's thirteen! He's more than capable of making his own decisions and facing the consequences of them! And he made a wrong decision!" He steps back, "You were the one who taught me that all people deserve second chances, even when people made bad decisions." I turn my face away and feel a tear running down my face, "Alex decides to take fucking Regina the serial killer sight seeing and then he loses sight of her. She goes looking for me, but finds her perfect fucking revenge... my sister. Eric, my sister is dead because of him, because of Alex's decision. And how could you tell him that it was okay, that he was doing what he thought was right? He's the reason my sister is dead." He stops and I turn around and continue walking. I make my way down the stairs towards the armory. I open the door towards the armory and find myself face-to-face with Angel. "Ahw did someone cry? Did someone say something mean?" I realize I forgot to wipe away my tears. I don't care what others think, I'm sure no-body would blame me for it even if there was someone in the armory except Max, I slap Angel across her face and push her away. She brings her hand to where I hit her and stares at me with her eyes wide open. I continue walking to Max's office as I hear Angel leaving. I walk into Max's office and see a half naked Max standing right in front of me. I turn around, shocked, "I am so sorry!" I hear a chuckle, "No worries, nothing you haven't seen before." I hear him laugh awkwardly as he put's his clothes back on, "I mean, you're a guy too. And you've seen other guys naked, right." I hear him walk around, "You can turn around now." I turn back around and walk to his desk, "I came here to ask you if I could borrow a bow and a handgun, doesn't matter which gun, but I prefer my own bow." He smiles, "And what do you need that for?" I smile, "And why were you naked and why did I walk into Angel just seconds ago?" He pauses, "Okay, fine. Grab what you want." I smile, "Thank you." I walk to the door bit pause and turn to him again. "You do know she sleeps with everyone, right?" I don't wait for him to reply and I close the door behind me. I walk to the weapon racks and grab my bow and a quiver with arrows. I open the safe in which the handguns are. I grab one that speaks to me and I close the safe. I open the ammo drawer and grab a few loaded magazines. I put the mags in a bag and walk to the infirmary, where they keep our water and food supplies. On my way there people I barely know greet me and smile at me. Ofcourse I smile back. I open the infirmary door and greet Alice hovering over a man, who suddenly starts screaming. I hear a little cracking and then it stops. She turns around and holds a pair of pliers in her hand with a tooth in it, "Hey Julian, what do you need?" I stare at the tooth, as she realizes she's holding it as if she just found something cool and wants to show it to me, she puts the tooth in a glass and lays the pliers on next to the glass on a metal plate. I smile, "I need two filled water bottles and some crackers." She smiles, "Grab whatever you need from the garage." I walk to the garage and grab two filled water bottles and three packs of crackers. I leave the building and head towards the main gate. I once again see smiling faces, but not all of them are happy, some of them show compassion. I still smile back at them. I walk as fast as I can without drawing attention. I silently open the door next to the front gate and walk into the woods. I hear the shouting and laughing going softer as I move further away from the mansion. I feel better out here, it's way more quiet, I don't have to smile here, no fake friends. I continue walking. I think about last year. About when I came across another community. With dufferent rules, different people. I thought maybe I could bring some of them in, maybe some of them weren't.... maybe some of them weren't too far gone.