size zero ღ changlix

tre

trigger warning

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felix was in the dance room with jeongin and seungmin. the three of them were all getting extra practice in with the choreography of get cool. felix admired the way jeongin moved so effortlessly, as if he wasn't starving, killing himself to be thin. it made him want to strive harder. seeing someone else do it really proves that he can do it too. as the song came to a stop, heavy breathing filled the thick tension in the room. seungmin quickly spoke up, "i'm going to head out for lunch with the others. are you guys coming?" which of course jeongin was quick to turn down the offer. "no thank you! i had a big breakfast," he said with a smile. a fake smile. seungmin rolled his eyes, it was so obvious the raven haired male was lying.

"whatever. felix, lets go," he pulled his hand in attempt to drag him out of the studio. jeongin looked at the two with a saddened expression. "actually, i need to learn this choreography. sorry hyung," seungmin just furrowed his brows before walking out, leaving the two boys alone. felix turned to the other male, softening up as he saw his hurt expression.

"what's wrong?" he asked, walking over to him. he just shook his head nonchalantly, "is seungminnie mad at me?" he quickly responded.

"no of course not. he— well they're just concerned about you. you know what you're doing, jeongin,"

saying that was easy for him. despite the fact that he wants to be just like him. he wants to feel that constant emptiness in his stomach and the constant irritability. he just didn't know how jeongin did it. did he purge? or just skip meals?

"i'm doing what's right for me," jeongin said, his voice cracking slightly under the pressure the older male was giving him. felix reaches forward and grabbed his wrist, feeling his fingers touch from tip to tip. his hand being almost to frail to even resist the touch from felix. "how did you do it?" he asked, leaning close in case anyone was listening in on them.

"w-what?" he choked out, pushing felix's hand off his wrist. "i asked, how do you do it?"

"d-do what?" felix was desperate. jeongin was clearly acting like an airhead, as if he didn't know.

"how'd you get so skinny? you're like a fucking walking skeleton. look at yourself, you're like seven minutes away from dying," he finally said without much of a second thought. he felt his body wash over with instant regret as tears pooled in jeongin's heavy brown eyes. "w-why would y-you ask something like that?"

"o-oh no, i didn't mean it like that..." his voice trailed off, he observed as jeongin wiped his rolling tears with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. he quickly grabbed his backpack before strutting out of the studio,

"jeongin wait!" he called out, following after him. he stopped in his tracks as he listened in on jeongin's conversation with someone over the phone.

"h-hyung... i don't f-feel well. will y-you go h-home with me?" he heard the younger male ask through the phone yet he was unable to identify who he was speaking to.

felix slid down the wall outside the studio, running his hands through his coarse hair. he regretted what he had said, how could he seem so desperate? jeongin goes through so much and he was playing it like some kind of joke. it was shitty what he did yet he felt no remorse. he smiled sheepishly as his stomach growled lowly, he felt the mindless blackhole that his stomach was, nothing to give him the fuel he needs. two meals down, one to go.