size zero ღ changlix

dodici

trigger warning!
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it was the morning after and all 9 boys were still sat in the hospital waiting room chairs. it was around 6 a.m. when felix woke up. he lifted his head off of changbins shoulder before yawning contently. he glanced around at the sleeping boys before trailing off to the bathroom. he stared at himself in the mirror. pulling at his ghostly ruined cheeks, washing his face under the sink to wash away the tear tracks. he averted his attention towards changbin as he walked into the restroom.

"sorry i got worried," the older male said with a sigh. they held eye contact for numerous seconds before felix spoke up. "worried, why?" he questioned, drying his hands off with a paper towel.

he nonchalantly shrugged. "i just wanted to check up on you... are you doing okay?" he asked, knowing that none of them were doing well because of the incident yesterday. how could he be okay when he's in the hospital for a reason that hasn't been identified. "let's go." felix muttered, walking back to the sitting area where everyone else was. he stopped in his tracks as the doctor in a white coat spoke to chan. he furrowed his brows, attempting to eavesdrop on the conversation. he stared the doctor down as he walked back to the room.

"what was it?" jisung scrambled to his feet, wide eyes as he talked to chan. "they were able to regulate his heart rate and breathing. they conducted that he faced cardiac arrest after malnourishment. his heart grew so weak, he wasn't to get he blood flowing properly," chan sat back down next to minho, running a hand through his coarse hair.

"so that means..." "he's anorexic? yeah," chan finished the question felix was leaning towards. that word rang through felix's mind like a bell. that could be him. he could've been the one to almost die. yet, it wasn't him. it was jeongin. they were doing the same thing so whose not to say that felix will end up the same way?

"oh... when can we see him?" changbin spoke up, earning a shrug from chan.

"they advised us to go home for today, rest, then come back tomorrow." every member nodded their heads in agreement. they were exhausted and anxious, so many questions were left unanswered. everyone began to pack their bags from their overnight stay. changbin and felix walked hand in hand until they were met with the company van. the two shuffled their way to the back where they sat down next to each other.

"i'm tired," changbin mumbled before yawning, resting his head on felix's shoulder. he stiffened without a word, straightening his posture in order to appear calm despite the rush of heat flooding to his cheeks. he grinned cheekily before staring out the window, avoiding the contact from the older male.

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felix was able to avoid eating breakfast and lunch. he was surprised he had slept in well past 1 pm.

he felt the presence of changbin beside him. he glanced over his shoulder to see the older male was still asleep. felix released a shaky sigh, crawling out of the bed they shared. he ignored the feeling of emptiness in his stomach and immediately marched to the bathroom. it has been more than a couple days since felix last weighed himself.

he quickly stripped his body of any clothes. he examined his appearance in the mirror. he could just barely see his ribs through the fat covering his abdomen. his cheekbones were still plump and easy to grasp. he bit his lip, attempting not to cry. he still wasn't thin enough. his thighs didn't have a big enough gap. his stomach didn't cave in.

that was the distortion he saw in the mirror. the truth was, his collarbones were protruding through his ghostly skin and his ribs visibly lined his abdomen. he still only saw fat.

he stepped onto the scale, tightly closing his eyes as the numbers appeared on the screen below. his breath hitched when the numbers continued increasing. 117.2 lbs. overweight. he was fat. it was disgusting, the numbers were so high. he watched his tears hit the tiles of the floor, his heart sinking to his empty stomach. he was feeling so weak. he tried everything. it wasn't quick enough.

he stepped off the scale before stepping back on. the numbers had to have been inaccurate. 117.2 llbs. as starved as he felt, there was no way he'd bring himself to eat. not today. he won't give in just yet. he was dizzy, ill, and exhausted. everything was starting to pile on. he needed to be skinny. he reached for the kito weight loss pills, taking a couple before setting it back down on the counter around the sink.

after getting dressed, felix trudged his way to the kitchen. he collected a couple ice cubes in a cup which he poured salt over the top. he looked at the ice with disgust. he wanted real food. yet, he couldn't give up. he sucked on the ice cube, his tastebuds dancing with the salt. he harshly chewed down on the cube.

"what're you eating?" changbin asked, creeping up behind the young male. felix felt panic rise to his head, he set the cup down quickly before turning back. "i— just i— drinking water," he muttered out. he said a jumble of words that didn't add up to changbin. he reached for the cup on the counter and glanced inside at the glossy cubes with an abundance of salt. "salt on ice cubes...?"

"it's sugar," he lied. quickly tugging the cup away from him. changbin didn't accept that as an answer. "sugar grains are smaller," he noted. previously, jeongin tried the same method before chan caught him. and as this scenario goes down, changbin grew more suspicious. he walked away from the kitchen and entered the bathroom. he picked up the bottle of weight loss pills before glancing down at the scale. it was starting to add up.

"why are you using this?" he asked, showing the bottle to felix. he felt his blood boil within his veins. his mouth hung open from surprise as he reached forward to take the bottle back. changbin quickly retracted his arm. "why are you taking this?" he asked again. felix put his head down in shame as changbin quickly grew more upset.

"what have you eaten today?" he asked in a tone that felix dreaded hearing.

"uh— strawberry yogurt," felix stammered, avoiding holding eye contact. changbin sighed, walking over to the fridge to check if the 12 pack of strawberry yogurt was open. it wasn't. "seriously, felix. have you not eaten?" he questioned, one hand on his hip. felix shook his head, he admitted to not eating. he was afraid. afraid he wasn't going to accept him or afraid he'd end up like jeongin. although, he wouldn't mind.

"okay... sit down at the table, im going to make you food. alright?" changbin said with a heavy heart, sending him a sympathetic smile.

felix couldn't hide much from changbin anymore. he is getting worse and changbin is starting to catch on. it was time for felix to learn new methods for weight loss.

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a/n i came up with another story plot but idk if i'll publish it because nobody seems to read my other stories sksksk i still might publish doe idk yet