size zero ღ changlix

quindici

trigger warning!

(unedited)
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it has been two weeks since the youngest, jeongin, was hospitalized for anorexia. felix was still stuck in a dark hole, only falling deeper as his methods got worse. he dropped ten pounds and found himself sick more days then not. while jeongin was getting better, felix wasn't. he felt successful, finally being the thinnest one. this was just a small accomplishment. he had so much more to achieve.

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his attention averted to the tiny blue pills on his palm. he held the empty orange bottle in his other hand. he read jisung's name on the bottle over and over again. this will kill his appetite. he threw the pills down his throat before sickly smiling to himself in the mirror. he tossed the bottle into the trash, walking away from the bathroom.

felix's vision blurred as he stumbled around the empty apartment. the other members left for the hospital around an hour ago, leaving felix alone. his legs were trembling as his knees grew frail, folding under his body weight. he let out a yelp, the feeling of the hard floor against his skin. "shit..." he mumbled, feeling as if his head was spinning, unable to pick himself up. he collapsed against the couch behind him, punching his thighs lightly. "c'mon... don't give up on me now..." he muttered to himself, feeling ashamed his body can't even handle his strict lifestyle anymore. he was too weak to stand, his legs trembled like ones of a baby deer. he felt a tingling pins and needles sensation throughout his lower half. he placed his hands beside his body, pushing himself up onto his knees, feeling an overwhelming amount of pressure flood through his skin. "a-ah," he fell back against the couch, dropping his head against his knees.

sweat dripped from his forehead as he began to panic. the sensation of being too weary was getting to him. he tried again and again to hold his body weight. yet, he couldn't. maybe this was a good thing for him, maybe he's really reached his max. he couldn't stand, his legs trembled as he lost feeling in his lower body. everything was adding up. his skin was tinted purple as his circulation was wildly off. he couldn't even crawl to where his phone was. he couldn't call for help, nobody was there to aid him. he felt a sudden strain in his voice as he called out for help despite the echoes in the empty apartment. "help!" he shouted, shrugging at the defeat.

he fell against the cold floor, smiling as his eyes fluttered shut. he couldn't manage to stay awake, the numb pain overriding his entire body.

his body jutted at the feeling of hands against his shoulders. "felix!" that was his name. someone had found him. all he had to do was tell them he is okay. everything was moving too fast, he felt cold then hot, unable to see clearly through his eyes. "felix, come on now, it's not funny anymore." it was changbin. his voice was soft and full of concern. he dreamt about the boy, he couldn't even distinguish what was happening around him. everything was so eerie and broken. the walls were screaming at him to get up, he was faking his disorder. none of this was real. all he has to do is wake up. where even was he?

a sudden wave of icy cold water hit his body, he felt his chest heave as his eyes pried open. all he saw was the water from the shower head crashing against his bitter hair. he glanced over to the vomit being washed down the drain. it finally hit him. felix felt his face heat up, tears rolling off his cheeks, mixing with the water in the tub. he was naked, cold, and dizzy. he continued to sob, thrashing his head around as changbin reached out to him. "you're okay, it's just me, you're okay now." he cooed, pulling the shivering boy out of the tub. felix looked up with tired eyes, staring up at changbins familiar face. the soft, comforting feeling of a fresh towel being wrapped around his trembling bones. "why- why—" felix started before breaking out into a shallow cry.

changbin shushed his crying, telling him sweet nothings. the situation wasn't weird to him but rather relieving. "you're okay," he said again, running the towel over his body. felix felt like he had lost all control. everything was built up for this very moment. "cold..." felix mumbled, shivering into the older males touch. he nodded, running his fingers through his wet hair as he held his head close to his chest.

he wrapped the towel around his lower half before reaching his hands out to help him stand. felix felt his knees weaken as he stood straight up, hand in hand with changbin. he helped the younger boy slip on shorts and a t-shirt before walking him out of the bathroom. "do you want to sit here or in your room? i'm going to make some food for you, then we can talk," changbin offered felix, nodding along as he mumbled a small reply. he helped lead him to his room, placing him on the lower bunk bed. "i'll be back," he said before walking out and closing the door behind him.

felix sighed, placing his head onto the plush pillows. everything around him was moving slow, he didn't feel connected with himself anymore. he finally met his breaking point. he laid like that for an additional 15 minutes before changbin made his way back into the room.

"here..." he handed the boy a tray with soup, meat, and some vegetables. felix accepted, setting it down onto his lap. changbin took a seat next to him, offering to feed felix, only to be kindly declined. "what happened? i don't remember much..." felix said with a quiet voice, sounding so distant from himself.

"i came back to the dorms early to check up on you but you were collapsed on the floor. you were overheating and you could barely form a sentence as you trembled," changbin released a sigh, biting his inner cheek before continuing. "you were crying about taking too many pills. i had to carry you into the tub, washing you with freezing water, forcing you to vomit what was left in your stomach. thats when you woke up," felix looked over before whispering a small apology. he didn't remember any of that. all he remembered was feeling complete as his head hit the wood of the floors. "felix?" changbin started, voice broken from crying previously.

"changbin?" he responded, lifting his head to stare back at the raven haired male. "please, don't scare me like that again. i don't know what i would do without you. you mean so much to me," he ranted on, "please don't leave me early. i want to help you, i really do,"

"binnie, it's okay... i'm okay now. i appreciate all that you've done for me," a small smile formed on his pale lips as he piled more food into his mouth without a second thought. "i really thought i had lost you." changbin nervously ran his fingers through his slightly damp hair. felix released a heavy sigh, swallowing the hundreds of calories in each bite of food he consumed. "one more thing,"

felix glanced over to the boy with tinted cheeks, edging him to continue on. "i love you."

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a/n sorry for the cliffhanger!! expect an update soon (: