A music class project is due and as cliche as it seems, you get the best and worst possible partners for said project. The best being your friend, Taehyung, & the worst being one of the most difficult to deal with people you have ever met-Jung Hoseo...
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The question hit you hard. You weren't expecting him to ask that of all things.
Drifting you think back to what Taehyung said. It wasn't even a question at this point.
But happiness.. you knew what you had to say, so you opened your mouth for it. You were prepared to smile for it, too. But it didn't come out. You choked.
Hoseok mumbled, "I.. I need to hear it from you.. because.. "
He needs to hear it?
"It.. it's really starting to hurt, Y/N.." Hoseok said as he shook under you. You couldn't see his face but his whole body was trembling. He was trying to hold back, "I can still.. something's really-- missing, and I can't.."
You don't know what to say, so you just listen to him as you held him close.
"Y/N.. it's like I keep trying to reach something, but I don't know what it is.. and I know I need to let go and I said I would, but.. you look at me and I see you.. and it's like you remind me each time that I'm missing something.. something important.."
A muffled breath escapes Hoseok as he continues, "I.. it's right there.. right there! Every time I try to feel it, it just doesn't happen. It keeps vanishing right between my fingers.. right when I'm about to grab it.. "
Hoseok sighed as wiped his face, "Y/N.. I.. I don't want to give up. Even if I don't know what exactly it is. I want to fight for it. But.. I know what I want can't happen unless you're with me.. so I need to know.. if I'm really alone in this. Is it really just me?"
You stared at the water. You couldn't believe what he was saying. Why would he fight for this? Even without knowing or feeling what it was?
Taehyung.. even Jungkook.. they keep telling you to just accept it—to just be truthful to yourself. The truth.. how you really felt.. who you really were.. everything. Should you just do what's right? Or what was even the right thing to do?
You had no idea what was right or wrong. But you did know the truth.
You heard Hoseok breath against the echos of the water around you, "Y/N, please.. I.."
"I'm not happy.." You said through the tears that now covered your face. Giving in you put your head down as you whimpered—your cries drowning out underneath the music. "I'm nowhere near happy, Hoseok.. I'm not.."
You were so tired of everything. The problem was more than just your feelings for him. More than just feeling guilty about Jimin or Yoongi. You wanted to be free and to feel free to love them and yourself. But you couldn't do that unless you knew who you were truly. It was like a piece of you had been ripped apart from you even though you know it's there. You were tired of hating every part of you that you did know. There was something missing. You were more than just this. There was more.. so much more than this version of you.
