Popularity | Taejin ✔︎

eight

Jins P.O.V

I have blown off the study session yesterday with Tae-hyung afraid that if I saw him I wouldn't be able to control my emotions. I'm afraid next time I see him I'll really cry in front of him. I'll look like a mess to him. Out of all places to meet him it was a place where I went to with friends and forget everything that was bothering me. Instead I was met with things that were stressing me out and now I have more things to think about. I wouldn't have ever though that Tae-hyung would agree to going to karaoke. He doesn't seem to be that person to enjoy singing. I know he likes to play sports but what kind of guy doesn't? I also didn't know I'd get harassed in the men's bathroom where I'm suppose to feel safe. Especially by someone younger than me. If only I had Jung-kook the way Tae-hyung did then maybe I'd be the one with a messed up hand. I didn't get to see how Tae-hyung's hand was because I blew off the study session. It can be infected for all I care because he was the one who rejected me twice. If only I didn't show any expression and walked away just like he did. Sadly, I'm nowhere close to how he acts.

Tae-hyung will want to really have study sessions one day because without me he will fail economics again. He might report to my teacher that I didn't study with him and part of me yearns for him to say something. I just don't want my teacher to ask me directly how the tutoring is going. Still don't know the reason why he failed economics but from what my teacher told me I could guess it was Yoon-gi. For me its hard to fail a class, I see that as a flaw. I can have fun as long as I'm doing well in my classes.

"Seok-jin!" My brother Seok-joong brings me back to reality. I forgot I have a "boys day out" with my brother while my mom has a "girls day" with her daughter in law. We left the house to go shopping for the wedding and for the spring because some clothes don't fit me anymore. To be honest since winter is coming up all I want to wear is long sleeves and gather blankets up for warmth. Even though winter isn't that bad where I live it still gets cold to the point you need to wear a sweater. Though my birthday is in the winter I don't enjoy the season because it makes it hard to do a few things unlike the summer.

"What is it?" I ask as Seok-joong removes the sweater he held up to his chest down by his side.

"Where is your head today? I was talking to you not that long ago then you go on and daydream." He nags at me for not paying attention to him.

"Sorry. Just-" should I tell him? Maybe bits and pieces of it. If I were to tell him about Tae-hyung he'd probably tell mom. "A lot has been happening lately." I explain to him fiddling with the clothes on the rack.

"Like what? Is mom okay?" He questions, worried.

I nod. "She is fine, but that's not it." I go on watching his eyes grow confused and worried.

"Please do tell me, when something bothers you, always tell me, okay?" Seok-joong places the sweater back and searches for more clothes.

"Can I tell you anything?" I creep closer to my brother.

"Yes, you should already know that." He digs in bringing out a black shirt with white skulls and webs printed on it.

He isn't giving me false hope is he? With the words I might say they have to stay with him forever until he dies. No one in our family can know but him. He's my brother and I should trust him but my mom is always in the back of my mind whenever I think of this topic. I have to trust my brother before I lose him to someone who will be with him 24/7.

"I like someone," I press my lips together quickly looking away from his gaze.

"That's great! Is she cute? What about her smile? Is she smart?" He smiles as I don't see his eyes on me.