Popularity | Taejin ✔︎

fourteen

Jins P.O.V

"Now move the 200 on the other side, multiply it and you know the rest." I grab my notebook full of notes off Jung-kook's desk to study them.

Jung-kook stares at his homework dumbfounded after I tried explaining it the best way I could. It's easy work I mean I did this two years ago. "How are you so smart?" Jung-kook says writing down a few things. "I would never understand this."

"I did this two years ago of course it would be easy for me to do." I tell him. And I still do it till this day in math. Little kids will be amazed by anything. The only reason I'm helping is because he was failing math and the teacher wouldn't get off his case. Told me if he didn't pass math this month his family wouldn't allow him to go on winter vacation. Now I'm helping the poor child instead of him asking the teacher for help.

"Still makes you smart for remembering though." Jung-kook adds and stops writing. The wind blows through the open window causing Jung-kook's hair to fly everywhere.

I move my hand to his head and fix the mess. It's been two days since me and Jung-kook have been going "out" I guess you can say. I'm not enjoying this but I've seen another side of Jung-kook than the one where he would molest me. Tae-hyung hasn't been seen since that day of physical ed where he was obviously flirting with Mark. Or at least that's what it looked like to me. I don't know if Tae-hyung has been going to school or not but inside my heart I want to know if he has been. He does message me every other day being rude or worried yet I don't answer because it's still no confession I'm looking for. I love how he messages me but then I remember he practically stole my phone to put his phone number into Nam-joon's contact. Four o'clock in the afternoon I stayed behind to help Jung-kook with his algebra. What's with him and his friends not paying attention in class?

"I guess." I shrug.

"Do you like going out with me?" Jung-kooks eyes are on his homework as he asks me this question.

I don't know what to say. I'm just using you as bate but not quiet. Not like how I was with Nam-joon. There is no way I'm telling Jung-kook the truth or he might be the one to punch me. Why would I tell you the truth when I can just feed you lies so you can stop bothering me? "Ignore my question. Pretend I never asked." Jung-kook concludes grabbing his things to leave. Here goes the baby crying.

"Hey, wait. We aren't even done yet," I go to grab Jung-kook's hand but he is too fast.

He turns at the classroom doorway to gaze at me. "You really are something," he rambles. He's got that right but he can't say that to me when he was harassing me in the men's bathroom just two weeks ago. "I know why you wanted to go out with me."

Why would Jung-kook care to ask if I like going out with him or not? Does he need the answer of yes to feel wanted? Maybe that's what Jung-kook is missing is feeling wanted by someone. Having the whole school he is wanted but I guess he needs someone else to give him that sense of want. He's in a confusing spot but such a young boy shouldn't be dating in the first place. I shouldn't have said anything to Jung-kook either because it looks bad on my part. When this thing is over and when I get back at Tae-hyung I won't call Jung-kook my ex. And hopefully Jung-kook doesn't call me his ex either. I know for sure Jung-kook will find someone better and find himself with them.

"God, you are so fucking stupid for confessing to Tae-hyung."

I don't hear him leave till my eyes move up to see the doorway empty. The only hands my heart is in is...is...Tae-hyung's. What the hell is wrong with you, Jin? From my desk I grab a notebook and open to a random page and start to write a letter to Tae-hyung. Just like the rest of them that I have made. No need to go after Jung-kook because I know things ended here. They needed to end and they shouldn't have started. I'm just dumb for letting it happen. Once you hurt someone they'll hurt others.

Where will this letter go? Will they go along with the rest of the unknown letters? Inside a box under my bed, forgotten. Tae-hyung still has no clue about these letters. I can't use anything as an excuse to see him...right when my heart is wrenching from the truth slapping me right in the face. Why did I confess to Taehyung?

P.S I love you

"Jin!" I jump in my chair lowering my pencil from my grip. My teacher makes her way to me, the same one who told me to help Tae-hyung who knows how long ago. "Just who I wanted to see. How are things going with your sessions?" She asks.

I wipe my eyes from tears and sigh. "They are going good." I lie to her.

"That is a lie because he told me that he doesn't need you as a tutor anymore. Said you opened his eyes to many things." My teacher stands by my desk looking down at me. I glance over at Nam-joon which the air around us has been awkward since he came back. He doesn't pay any attention to the teacher and continues to study.

I shake my head and peer out the window. "He has been turning in stuff and it passing so I'm glad I choose the right person for him." My teacher tells me with a little sigh.

I press my lips together and feel my heart tighten. Seeing Tae-hyung for our sessions maybe that's how I'll start. "I'm glad that's how he feels. I'll make sure he continues to succeed." Will I? Am I willing to fess up to Tae-hyung or act like Jung-kook? Ugh I hate school. Maybe I could talk it out with Ji-min and Hobi. I know Nam-joon won't want to hear it since I rejected him not that long ago. This is the longest we haven't spoken to each other. It's probably the end of our friendship. Maybe something will happen to cause us to go back to being friends with no hurt feelings. For now these awkward situations will have to happen for a bit longer.