sisley caught sight of a fat green man in the distance. he wore seaweed on his head and twirled around delicately in a fluffy pink tutu. whatever the fuk he was smoking, sisley wanted none of it because smoke is drug and drugz r bad
"ever drunk baileys from a shoe?" inquired the man
sisley scrunched up her nose.
".......what?"
"wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?" he pressed.
she folded her arms, baffled.
"listen sir, i don't know wtf ur deal is but i nee-"
"IM OLD GREGG!1!!!" he roared.
sisley stepped back in awe. being from district four, she had heard many tales of the formidable Old Gregg from the elders, cautioning the perils of fishing in his waters...
"i didn't realize this was your turf, sir. i'll leave at once, i promise," she stammered fearfully
Gregg smiled coyly.
"i like you," he professed. "what do u think of me?"
"i- well- i- idk u bro, i-"
"make an assessment."
sisley took a deep breath, trying to formulate an answer that was most likely to not get her obliterated
"ur....cool?"
Gregg scowled at her. "move over bitch"
sisley glanced over her shoulder and saw a familiar sexy man standing behind her.
"listen old gregg, you seem alright and all but i'm lowkey married to annie cresta."
"finnick?! how di-"
"YOU DON'T KNOW ME!1!!" gregg roared once again. he straightened up and pulled at the hem of his tutu.
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I GOT" He lifted his skirt, and sisley was forced to realize that she was not the only one in possession of a power hole.
"YA SEE THAT?? THATS OLD GREGGS VAGINA!!!!! I GOT A MANGINA!!11!!"
as a powerful beam of light flashed from between Gregg's thighs, finnick screeched and covered his eyes, wishing he could take a big sip of some unsee juice
"MERCY MERCY HOLY FUCK MERCY PUT THAT THING AWAY PLEASE GOD" he and sisley screamed
the last thing sisley heard before passing out was the deafening cry of "IM OLD GREGGGGGG"
sisley woke up in fetal position. rubbing her temples, she sat up and noticed finnick was awake beside her.
"yo how long was i blacked out for?"
"two seconds," Gregg chimed.
sisley flinched, springing to her feet and assuming a fighting stance.
"i'll fuck u up son if u ever come at me with that mangina of yours again"
finnick nodded in agreement, whipping out a plank-sized peter so ginormous it could function as its own melee weapon and still have enough left over for twelve year olds to depict in graphic detail on fanfiction.net.
"cool it motherlicker." Gregg stared her down. "as it just so happens, you and that fuzzy little man-peach beside you could do me a lot of good rn."
"if by 'good' you mean attempted rape i am still fucking you up."
"you see...in the two seconds you were blacked out, i heard u talkin about some plans to exterminate jake paul. now i for one am sick and tired of these youtuber cocksuckers coming in and undermining me in my own kingdom, so im down to kill him too."
"im sorry, your own fucking WHAT?"
"oh, where are my manners?" Old Gregg peeled off his mask. "ya im actually satan, whats fuckin good."
finnick and sisley's jaws dropped.
"wait....but if ur satan himself, how r u planning on dealing with all the youtube faggots overrunning ur kingdom?" asked finnick.
the devil grinned.
"that's what my third identity is for."
