( EMMETT CULLEN. )
❝ MEMORIES WITH YOU IS
THE ONLY THING I THINK OF. ❞
Summer, Majority of the Human Population's
Happiness. But not when you are supposed
To be your enemy's fake girlfriend during the
Spare time makes it happier, no.
But what...
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To : EmmettCullqn@gmail.com From : BrooklynFrcyaLJ@gmail.com Title : 3AM
Dearest Emmett,
I watch the night turn light blue, but it's not the same without you. I wonder how people keep things so easy here in New York, nothing is ever easy here. There are no tall trees or hills by, skyscrapers and buildings after buildings populated the area it's often I could see the beautiful twinkling of the stars.
How are you? Do you remember the times when you had to drag me out of my house and we'd stop by McDonald's to buy food? You never eat them, I only do. Half of the time I try to provoke you to eat, but that would be me in your plate and I wouldn't want to get chopped or fried anytime soon.
Nights scare me here, sometimes I think it's because of the secluded area, the traffic, the bolting lights and the dangers of the alleys. I often went out as the moon bites, danger is a common usage, safe is rare. I want to go home, I want to go back there and I want to live like how were things before.
But that would have been impossible, I would have to face the gruesome torture of the truth and my feelings battling for you. I wished things could have been different, but even different couldn't possibly save us from falling head over heels for one another. Maybe that's because I just haven't mastered the art of love, really. But it felt like it was love when it came to you.
I think of you at 3AM when I can't sleep and I wish that you were here with me. I realized the city never sleep here, the people and their minds aren't too. We connected to our surroundings, and I am wholly tired of lacking. I lack too much, I lack with my effort, my knowledge and even my sleep. I think, this is where I shouldn't be. I don't belong here. That's why I felt like I should be with you.
I wish I could show up at your doorstep right now and spend the whole night with you, but then again— that would have been impossible. If only I am getting better at coping up, if only I wasn't too sure and I am not mourning over the thought of you— maybe I could go back. Maybe I could be with you.
There is no denying that I fell in love, I fell in love with the man who claimed me in a café and threatened my family and I if I said no. I fell in love with the man who spent his summer nights with me, who brought me to his family, who brought me to places and introduced me as yours. I fell in love with you, Emmett Cullen, and that's all your fault. For being that cliché bad boy from a book, for being that vampire who chose to be possessive.
I wish I could just blame you all the time.
But then I'd have to blame myself too. For not being brave enough, for not confessing, for trying to bottle up my feelings and for being so naive. You dropped hints, you caressed me, you held me, and you loved me. But all I ever did was doubt, but you know what? I don't think crying will ever solve my problems. When I left that night, I told myself;
Don't cry it's over, smile because it happened.
I could never be thankful for the thought of you, grateful for the thought of having you and joyful for being with you. Never in my life will I bring to forget you, Emmett. These words that created a confession, that created a note— it relieved me to the fullest. For I have finally told you everything, everything that you need to know. And that I love you so much.
And tonight, I'll fall asleep with you, in my heart.
