Shadows Into Light

Drifting

You are on the dock

and I am in the life boat

with a tether connecting me

to the dock with you.

We used to hold tight to that rope,

never letting me go out to sea,

we were close,

and it was good.

Then with this new year,

a storm came through

tossed my boat a little further

away from you.

But we both held on,

we made it work,

we both pulled me

towards the dock.

I was blind,

but now I see

of what has happened.

It was slowly,

but I notice you have stopped

pulling as much.

I strain against the efforts

of the sloshing waves

which are breaking on my face,

as I keep pulling.

Over time,

I have drifted further,

but I kept pulling,

I wasn't going to give up.

There is a layer of soft mist,

above the sea,

and now you are vague looking

on that dock.

I can't tell if you're pulling anymore,

are you giving any effort anymore?

Or is it all me against the sea?

You're losing me,

I don't know if you know that.

And I don't know how to tell you.

I am drifting too far

too tired of all the work I've been doing

all year.

I made the journeys,

back and forth,

back and forth.

You made two journeys,

and I made twenty journeys,

I have made 90% of the journeys,

it feels like I've made 90% of the effort

in this relationship.

I'm so afraid to tell you this,

because I don't want to make things worse.

But,

you're losing me.

I'm drifting too far,

I'm too tired to keep pulling,

I'm losing hope.

I am hurt,

but I don't want to hurt this relationship.

You must show me effort,

otherwise I am going to be gone.

Lost between the waves

and the darkness which beckons me.

If I say anything,

I'm afraid it will upset you,

which in turn will hurt me more.

So I remain silent,

watching as I drift further away,

away from you on the dock,

away from where my heart is,

and into the beckoning storm.