Shadows Into Light

Losing Myself

I was okay,

a minute ago,

I was fine,

two minutes ago,

I could consider myself happy,

ten minutes ago.

Now,

there is nothing left.

It happens too fast,

I miss my warning signs

before I crash and burn.

I have no space to just lose myself

to forget why I am here,

to forget the tears running down my face,

to forget the constant destroying thoughts.

Instead I am trapped inside my head

watching myself fall apart,

helpless against my head

which continues to beat me down.

I struggle walking on the edge of shadows,

where I can so easily slip into darkness,

where I am afraid that I will never come back

from where it beckons me.

It promises me that I can lose myself forever,

where I will never have to feel anything,

where I can be finally free.

Free of my head,

free from the pieces in my torn heart,

free from everything that rips me apart.

I'm afraid that one day I'll give in,

and lose myself forever.