Unrequited love

deux

The next time I saw 'the man in the black' was on the street and he was with a girl. He saw me and in the second he glanced at me I looked at the ground. Seeing him in the day light,sober was toxic for me because I realised how insanely beautiful he actually is. The way his hair were all over the place and his grin was always placed on his lips, made me crave him more than I already did. I don't know why I fell so quickly, it is quite impossible to fall for someone after a one night, to admire someone that much, but I did. He inspired me to write and after I met him, I couldn't stop writing poems. He was my muse. 

The worst part of it all was, that I knew I had no chances with him and he made me go crazy. I cried after such a long time, it was kind of relieving to be honest. He made me feel after a long time of being numb. 

He appeared. And made me realise I need someone, I need love. 

Of course, he has a girlfriend, I was only a one night stand, nothing more. And he made me feel but at what cost if I  can't feel him. 

He made me forget about all the bad things while I was with him. 

While I was with him, I felt nothing more than pure bliss.

But then he wasn't there and my insides were rotting. As if nothing else mattered on this world except for him. Except for us. 

That's how it felt when we were together even if that was only twice. 

I didn't know where to go, I wanted to go to my apartment but I'd feel so lonely there. I wanted to go to Marina's but I'd probably feel lonelier. 

So I went to the national gallery where I feel most at home. 

"you never told me about your parents though? What are they like?" I thought for a second before I'd open my mouth and tell him. Should I tell him that my mother died because of cancer only 3 years ago and then he'd feel sorry for me like the majority of people I've met? 

"well, my dad, you see, he's alive but we don't really get along so last year I moved to the city with my sister but she got a boyfriend and moved with him to another apartment. He's alright I suppose, but not a perfect dad. He didn't want me to study art, but he doesn't understand how much that helps me, how I love all kinds of art to be honest. Of course my thing is painting, but I love poetry as much as I love prose. On my luck my mother always understood how it is to love something as much as I love art and she convinced my dad , but due the lack of money, there isn't a chance to go to a proper university, so yeah." he didn't reply for a while, probably thinking about what I told him.

"and your mother?" I looked through the window and my eyes began to fill with water. I rubbed my eyes.

"she died 3 years ago due to cancer." I glanced over to him, he put my hand into his and I flinched at the touch. he's sorry she died.

"you didn't even know her."

"I'm sorry for you. Because you lost her." He kept on staring at me.

"You don't know me too." he smirked and I asked him what's so funny.

"nothing's funny."

"what is it then?"

"I was just thinking of how lovely it would be to get to know you more."

"Lizzy, how have you been? Haven't seen you in a while now." the deep voice of a good friend who usually spent her afternoons in the gallery greeted me as I stepped into a room with 20th century art.

"Mandy hi!" I hugged her and told her how I was busy with work.

"Well it's lovely to see you again. Don't worry about work though. I'm trying to find some good work but I'm still working in the grocery shop. Sadly." her face frowned, probably at the thought of work and payment and grown up problems.