Unrequited love

douze

"Liz, I don't get it why you obsess over Matty so much? He's just a guy. Okay, yes, he may be hot and such, but god, you're a totally different person than you were before you met him." I stared blankly into the wall in front of me and tried to find the right words to make her understand.

"he makes me feel special." I was hungry, but I pushed the thoughts of food away.

"oh, give it a rest. everyone adores you. you're stunning and everyone wants you." I could feel the anger rise in me and I was afraid I'd lost it, like I did lately a lot.

"it's like you're making me feel guilty for, what? being attractive?  even if people find me beautiful, it's hard to find someone who makes me feel beautiful." I half shouted as she she laughed at me.

"do you have any idea how it is to constantly live in your shadow? to be the one everyone uses to get to you? I'm your best friend and I shouldn't be bothered with that, but fuck, I am. I hate it. to be honest, it wouldn't even be that much of a problem if you wouldn't complain over your body and face all the fucking time. like, if your thighs are enormous, then what are mine? and if you're ugly, then what am I? sometimes you make me feel like shit." she stopped for a second and took a deep breath, before she continued. 

"I'm sorry,but he's just another guy." I stayed silent.

"Lizzy, you are special and no man should be a reason for you to feel like you are. because when they're gone, somehow, so are you." I smiled a bit, thanking her silently because she didn't take it too far. I was almost at the edge, my legs were shaking and I was pissed. thanks god she stopped.

"liz, you alright?" I nodded. she sighed and turned the lights off, saying good night before turning away from me and trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. I still sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall.

"Marina?" I whispered.

"yeah?"

"I don't know what's going on with me." I stood up and picked up my purse.i went to her bathroom, hoping she'd fall asleep soon.

I looked at the mirror, then looked away quickly. I didn't want to see myself. The black bags under my eyes indicated desperate need for sleep so I hid them with conclearer.

I took the familiar little bag out of my purse and put some of the powder onto the shelf under the mirror. I felt better in just a few minutes.

god, you really are pathetic.

I typed his number into my phone and called him.

"matty? can I come over?"  I hoped so hard for him to say yes and fortunately, he did. I was glad I was still dressed in those black jeans, that I've been wearing for at least last 3 years almost every day- on my luck they were still with no holes or anything. I only changed the tshirt, putting a basic white tank top and a leather jacket, I went. I didn't tell Marina anything. Maybe I felt bad because I just left, not telling her anything, but it wasn't like she was awake and I'd probably be back before she'd even wake up. Even if I wouldn't be, we have phones and facebook and whatever.

I called a taxi and since it was already 2 am, there wasn't much traffic, so the taxi came fast. I told the driver where to and off we went. I could feel my nose burn, and my hands were cold as ice, while my torso was burning. My heart was pouding, it felt like it could jump right out of my chest. The driver observed me everytime he could, he probably thought I was losing my mind. 

Finally, he pulled over at the building where Matty lived and I stepped out of the car as quickly as I could, running towards the main entrance, opening the door and running up until I reached 3rd floor, where he lived. I knocked and he showed up in front of me with messy hair and bloodshot eyes. I fell onto him and he hugged me, kissing my head and telling me everything would work out. He stroke my hair, and we slowly went inside, into his room, where we both collapsed into his bed. I was shaking.

"are you cold?" he asked me, whispering. I shook my head.

"I don't know what's wrong with me." he kissed my forehead and put the blankets over us. After some minutes of complete silence, I could hear him whispering, "man, I'm so high, I think I love you."

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a/n: omg,today im watching the hunger games on tv and i can't wait coz it's one of the best films. ahh I want to write more of this and probably will, but right now i think this chapter just has to end coz it's such a lovely ending, isn't it? but yeah i have like 2 hours left until the film starts so who knows what can happen.

please give me some feedback, id love to hear your thoughts on this story and one question for you; what are your favourite songs by the 1975?