Unrequited love

un

He has one of the most fascinating faces I have ever seen, even though I only saw him once in my life, but even that time I couldn't take my eyes off him. Neither could he. We starred at eachother for the whole night, first in the club and afterwards in his bed where I had yet another one night stand, with a yet another older guy. But he was different, at least I thought so. Maybe it was all only an illusion. Maybe he was the same as the others I slept with. But I felt admired, and that didn't happen often. He looked as if he could admire someone. Or maybe that was an illusion as well, caused by my need for being admired. 

Sure enough, next morning I went home and cursed myself for having sex with random men that I found enough attractive. And also because I couldn't stop thinking of him. And the way it felt kissing him. That man, he knew. He knew damn well how to kiss. 

It would be good if I at least knew his name, but on that night, I couldn't think straight. 

He said he wanted only me and I smiled so hard my cheeks started to burn. My heart was also burning, I could feel it pounding so hard when he sucked the air out of my lungs, kissing me and saying "I want you." I still hear it, jesus christ, what has he done to me, I'm wondering if it's a nice thing but I think I'm sick; my heart is- I can tell;  my head was spinning- maybe it was the alcohol (or coke), maybe it was him, but in both cases it hurts and he's gone now.

But why the hell did I even let him under my skin, one night stands were mainly made to have fun with a stranger and then forget about it, but no, I think about him all the time. Being with him was exhilarating. Such a big contrast to all the other people I've met. 

While we were driving in his car to his apartment we talked and shared our deepest secrets, because telling stuff to a complete stranger is safer because you know you'll probably never see them again and even if they tell anyone, they won't actually know who you are. Nights like that were made to say things we can't say tomorrow day. 

I felt special, maybe that's why I can't get him off my mind. I never felt special. The last time I truly did, was with my ex boyfriend who then cheated on me. It was ages ago but it still hurts to know that I wasn't enough. 

"Elizabeth could you stop being in that little world of yours and live here and now?" here and now. Carpe diem. That's how my friends live, mostly.  Have the time of our lives, and indeed, we do. That's what being 18 is all about. Living your life to the fullest. Besides of going to school and having straight A's. 

"uh, sorry, I was just thinking of, well it doesn't matter actually Marina."

"I suppose you were thinking of that mysterious boy you met ages ago in that club and had an oh-so-good sex? Forget about him, one night stands are nothing. He probably forgot about you so why thinking of him?" Marina, my best friend since kindergarden where her mum and my mum became best friends which meant they had to make us friends as well. And they made it. I can't imagine my life without her, honestly.

"Keep it down, I really don't want others to hear about my obsession. And you just don't get it." winking at her made her laugh and she changed the subject. 

"So, you know that guy in my History class? The new kid?" I nodded.

"what's up with him?"

"he asked me out." I started laughing which made my other 3 friends ask what's so funny.

"ah nothing, forget about it." I said holding back the laugh.

"Don't say a word to them, please. You know how they'd make fun."

"sure. Now tell me more. Please say you didn't say yes to that creep?"

"of course not, who do you think I am for god's sake. I politely said no, maybe another time. Didn't want to completely crush his soul because he's oh-so in love with me. Which I find flattering, sure, but he's just so... Strange." I ordered another shot of vodka. "Just don't get his hopes up, or else he'll be so disappointed when you say no for the 400th time. And then the thing with 'friendzoning nice guys'. Ah man, so annoying." 

my reason for drinking was to forget so I can have fun. Because there's nothing wrong with getting drunk every now and then. Meaning every weekend and then sleeping at Marina's or some random dude. 

No one likes the taste of alcohol, we just like the effect. The effect of having no control or memory. You forget everything. That's what's so great about it.

Marina started to nodd and vawed her hands around as if it was so important to embrace the fact that nice guys actually aren't that nice. "YES, indeed. But still, I just couldn't say the ultimate no. Maybe he'll turn into Ash Stymest in some years. Who knows."

"or maybe Bradley Soileau." I stood up and drank that little glass of vodka. Walking to the dance floor made me ask myself if I ever catch anyone's attention. If anyone falls in love with me. Ever. That would be so astonishing.

I started dancing, feling free and good, dancing is just so good for your soul, makes you loose your mind. 

I turned around and faced a familiar man who kissed my lips. I kissed him back, not thinking about anything. Even the way this man kissed felt familiar.

oh.

"remember me?" the man whispered into my mouth and I opened my eyes, seeing those dark eyes.

"yes." with that I kissed him once more and I ran my fingers through his messy hair which made him moan quietly. I smiled.

"don't stop kissing me love." I didn't. We kissed as if there was no one else around us and I felt special. I felt as if nothing else mattered and I forgot about everything that bothered me. Because in that moment, I didn't care.

His hands were around my neck and even if he strangled me, in that moment I wouldn't care if i died in his arms. 

"Elizabeth, I'm going home, care joining me or?" I looked into his eyes and left him standing there, going after Marina who was already at the main entrance. 

"it was him, the man in black." she laughed at my nickname for him.

"the man in black you say, why do you call him so?"

"dressed in black, from head to toe you know. And woah, this had to be one of the most amazing kisses you have ever ruined." she glanced at me with a 'sorry' expression on her face. 

"it's cool, if you didn't ruin it we'd probably stay there kissing until the zombie apocalypse and even then we wouldn't stop, and I still wouldn't know his name." 

"the perks of one night stands are exactly that honey." 

"oh sod off."

/

"FUCK THERE'S A SPIDER ON YOUR BED, A BIG SPIDER, BIG BIG SPIDER."  I yelled so loudly to make sure Marina heard me. Running in the bedroom only in her towel around her body she screamed when she saw the spider.

"fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck YOU KILL IT." 

"no way, I'm the guest here. Do you ever even vacuum here because whenever I come, there's bugs everywhere. I know that your parents probably never do since they're barely ever home but you should do it. Because, LOOK AT THAT FUCKING SPIDER IT IS MOVING. RED ALERT RED ALERT."

"we're sleeping on the couch."

"fuck yes." and we took our pillows and she took some blankets from the closet and brought them into the living room.

"popcorn or pringles?"

"pringles for sure." I said making a pillow fort. It's so childish but we did this almost everytime I came to her place. Well, everytime that there was a spider or some other bug on the bed.

"True romance, The fault in our stars or Grey's anatomy on fox life?"

"tough choice Marina. True romance, an all time favourite, the fault in our stars hasn't been watched YET and of course, Grey's anatomy the most amazing tv-show ever made. you pick today."

"that's all I have to offer today, wanted to go to the library to borrow some dvds but didn't bother doing so. Grey's anatomy it is because it's the new season and we haven't watched that either."

"deal."

A/N: i am so excited to write this story I am not sure why but it's going to be so emotional and I like emotional. I'd love some feedback but that's on you of course. A massive thanks to the 3 users who already voted. I also wanted to say I made a trailer which you can see at the side, I apologize if it's bad but it's my first time making a trailer but it was fun making it. I kind of like it to be honest. 
spread love, anamaria xxx