I woke up drenched in my own sweat. I could feel dried tears stained on my cheeks. My nose was clogged and my mouth was dry as if I'd just swallowed a bag of cotton balls. I took off the sweatshirt I had slipped on earlier when I was at the hospital and got out of the bed. Brushing my messy, wavy hair from my face, I tied it up in a scrunchie. I noticed it was dark in the room and even darker outside. I must've slept the day away. The house was quiet, not a light was on, as I opened the door. I softly padded my way down the stairs, careful not to make any noise as to not wake anybody up.
In the kitchen I turned on the lights and took a glass out from the dishwasher. Turning on the faucet, I poured some water in the glass and took two big gulps before pouring some more. After quenching my thirst, I leaned against the counter and pulled my phone out. I don't know when but at some point I had turned it off so when I turned it back on I was bombarded with missed calls and texts, all from Scar. I forgot to call her to tell her where I was going.
"Oh my god, I thought you were dead. Where are you?" She asked worriedly as soon as she picked up my call.
"I'm sorry. Nana called early this morning to tell me that AJ was in the hospital. I didn't want to wake you up and I forgot to call earlier," I explained apologetically.
"Is he okay? Where is he?" Scar asked.
"He OD'd but he'll be fine. I wanted to tell you, he's coming home with me. He'll be staying with us. At least until he graduates," I told her.
"That's a relief. I'm sure he wouldn't be such an angry teenager if he was staying in a nice, less depressing place," Scar said.
"I agree completely," I added.
"Are you okay?" Scar asked me.
"Of course," I lied through my fake smile that she couldn't even see.
"Liar," She stated.
"I am. Or at least I will be. I'm tired again, I'm gonna go. I'll call you in the morning," I told her.
"You just don't want to talk about it. You never do. You will have to eventually. Or it's gonna eat you up," Scar told me.
"Okay, well night," I said, waiting a beat before hanging up.
Taking my glass of water, I walked to the back door. Opening it, I walked across the balcony and onto the soft, cool sand. The waves were crashing loudly, a sound I missed more than anything in the world. It was the best thing about this place. I took a seat a few feet away from where the water met the sand. The saltiness of the air calmed me down as I enjoyed the traniquilty the beach offered. I sat there for a while until I grew cold.
I walked back into the house and to the living room. I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw grandfather sitting quietly in his rocking chair.
"Oh I'm sorry. Uh, I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll just go," I apologized quickly.
"Have a seat," I heard him say just as I turned to leave.
I sighed softly, blinking away the tears in my eyes. I hadn't realized how much I missed hearing his voice that used to sing me lullabies and talk to me about his stories. I walked to the long couch that sat perpendicular to his chair. I waited a minute to see if he was going to say anything but he didn't. So I figured he just wanted to sit in silence.
"You look just like her. Sometimes I have trouble looking at you without seeing her," He broke the silence. He was referring to my mother.
"Ever since she died, I've been so numb with the pain I haven't realized how much I've been hurting you. I'm sorry. I know I can't fix our relationship. I want to but it's too difficult," He went on.
