touch me e.d

thirty-six

chapter 36
rose;

everyone has done it to you why not do it back?

i can't be that way.

lia cheated and never cared for you

charlie knew this whole time

ethan lied too

they all lied.

"rose?" he calls out my name

"i'm sorry you just caught me off guard," i said forcing a smile

ethan;

i look around remembering what i shared with rose here. we only came here to talk about our sexual relationship nothing more.

"hi," i said once i see grayson coming up to my table. my heart starts racing the closer he gets to me. i couldn't believe how much he looks like me it's like looking in a mirror. i can see the awkwardness rising in the air once he sat down in front of me.

i really have my brother in front of me instead of a picture of us being kids. "i- i'm sorry if i'm being awkward, it's not an everyday thing where you see your brother after years of being apart," he lightly laughing changing the mood and i laugh with him. he has a humor, like me.

"how's dad?" i asked and he breathes in sharply. now the mood shifted feeling like i did something wrong. did he die?

(rip sean, but i'll use a different name)

"he didn't.." i said not wanting to say the word but grayson shakes his head at me.

grayson;

ethan was already asking about our dad who i hate so much. i can't even look at him anymore without wanting to cry of the anger growing inside me. how do i tell my long lost brother that i hate our father because of what he put me through?

i hate dad because he tossed me out when i came out to him but before that he treated me like pure shit

"he's fine, i just moved out to get my own place," i shrugged

just thinking about all the times he would get in my face reminding me how useless i was to him. he made me feel like i didn't matter to anyone not even to myself. i did poorly in school because of how i lived at home barely coming to school. i had no contact with my mom.

you're stupid why couldn't i get ethan instead of you

i can still hear his words echoing in my head back and forth. i needed him the most because he was all i had and all he did was make me regret those emotions. ethan doesn't seem damaged like i do.

i'm sure mom handed it all to him while i had to work for the little i have. i can't stand the fact how much thinking of my life with dad effects me. "i hate him," i finally let out not even thinking it through

he widens his eyes looking right back at me as the words spilled out of my mouth. "he made me feel like shit, he never did anything. he always told me how he would've been preferred having you then a stupid, useless, gay son," i let out

i just came out.

my heart is beating once i tell him i'm gay. i can't lose him again i need someone with me. i need a purpose to keep living. i'm so tired of the life i'm living alone having no one help me get back up.

i can feel the tears in my eyes building up thinking how he was going to be another person leaving me behind because i'm not what they want.

he will accept you he didn't look for you this whole time to forget you