touch me e.d

thirty-seven

chapter 37

recap: (i keep forgetting do these) ethan finally met up with grayson after of it being years of not seeing each other. grayson comes out to him as gay and telling him a little of how he's been through. rose and jonathan are at the same place as them leading them to an argument because of ethan. ethan is trying to convince to get grayson back into school and a proper home.

rose;

"that didn't end well, did it," ethan pops out of no where leaving me beyond scared. i shake a head at me responding to his question. was it that obvious? "well he's a dumbass," he smiles

i'm sure he knows the fight was about him because it's always about ethan. i've noticed how every time i choose ethan something goes wrong. i chose ethan, i lost charlie, i set off my dad, it's awkward with chloe, and jonathan can't seem to control his feelings for me.

"i didn't know you had a brother?" i bring up wanting to move on from jonathan being the main topic of our conversation.

he stops walking taking a seat on the bench of the sidewalk. i take a seat next to him but there was a gap between us that neither of chose to close. "you don't want to talk about jonathan, i don't want to talk about my brother," he says so serious

you're overstepping

i was curious on how i didn't know about him but yet again what ethan and i had was just casual sex nothing else.

grayson;

maybe it was a mistake meeting ethan today? i don't want to face my 'mom' someone who never bothered looking for me. someone who let me go with an alcoholic father who abused me nonstop. he made sure i knew how useless i was to him.

i used to think my dad cared for me but that all changed when i realized he didn't. he was always intoxicated making me flinch when he would reach out to hug me when he was in a good mood. each day he drank more and more hitting his girlfriend in front of me. i felt frozen not being able to do anything to stop it. i can see the fear when he would come home late from the bar.

she wasn't my mother but she always made sure he never laid a hand on me until she couldn't take it anymore and left. i hope she's doing well right now it's what she deserves and i'm not angry at her for leaving me behind. she was barely even stable to take care of me. i'm just glad she made it out sooner before he killed her from all the constant slaps and screams.

"babe?" my beautiful boyfriend calls me out getting myself out of my thoughts that never seemed to stop. i look at him to give me a peck on my lips. "you alright?" he asked with an english accent

jace knew everything i went through so far in life. ethan thinks i'm alone but i'm not because i have jace but he isn't out so no one knows about us. "i met him," was all i said because he already knew who i meant by him

he looks at me shocked and curious at the same time. "how'd it go?" he asked

i can feel the tears forming in my eyes just remembering ethan on what we were talking about. he thinks what isn't even true. "he wants me to move in with him, with my mom," i spoke

i need jace to tell me that it's going to be okay, that this anger built up inside me will eventually fade. that the pain will leave too that it won't always accompany me everywhere i go. i need the nightmares to go away.

truth hurts but secrets kill

"babe, what if you talk to her?" he says and i just look at him beyond surprised. this isn't what i wanted to hear from him. i don't think i can speak to the women who let me live with an alcoholic who never tried to look for me.

i shake my head. "no," i say harshly

"i don't want to talk to her, jace. i can't," i go on and he just shrugs looking at me trying to find the right words. i know he doesn't agree because he's the type to always find the bright side of things, i wasn't.

"you need to let this anger go," he responded "all the pain you were caused. those nightmares waking you up screaming at night can finally be gone," he tells me

"what if she doesn't want me?" my voice croaked

that's why your dad didnt want you, you're too weak. your mother left you with someone who would beat you and drank till he would hit the floor. sooner or later you'll see what he saw in you, the weak broken insecure little kid.

you aren't what he wanted to raise. if your dad didn't want you why would your mom want you? you have no home.

you're even lucky jace still puts up with you until he gets sick of you and leaves you like everyone does. ethan will leave too, he won't want to play brother trying to fix you. no one can fix you not even yourself

no one is saving you and you're just killing yourself even more

"she-," but jace cuts me off

he lets out a sigh looking at me upset. "you're doing it again. you're listening to that negative part in your head. i won't leave you, give them a chance," he tells me with a warming smile on his face

he pulls me in for a hug breaking me into sobs as my head rests on his chest. "it's going to be okay baby," he coos me kissing the top of my head
—-
ethan;

i go looking for olivia dying to tell her how i finally got to talk to grayson. if it wasn't for her i wouldn't be able to see him again. "olivia?" i called out but i find a man sitting in the living room just smirking at me

right next to him was my mom just sitting there not saying anything. "who is he?"

"your dad," he answers for her. i can feel my blood boiling thinking about what grayson told me back at the restaurant. how can she be so calm about this? why is he even here?

"get out," i barked but he gets up from the couch almost meeting up to my height. his breath reeks of harsh liquor. you can see the eye bags under his eyes due to lack of sleep. the room is filled with his strong smell of cigarettes.

"you're not going to tell me you miss me?" he laughs even saying it. was everything a joke to him? "come on son," he challenges

his presence is pestering me already. "you don't get to call me that not after you left," i growl "what are you doing here?"

"i heard you were looking for me?" he arches his right eyebrow

"not you," i tell him back harshly "grayson," i mention "i seen him today, you're such an awful person," i start raising my voice

i forget my mom was still standing here not saying anything until graysons name was brought up. "why were you seeing him?" she shrieks

but i chose to ignore her stupid question. "you're awful, the way you treated him,"

he just chuckles. "it's what he deserving for being a fa-," but i stop him before he even insults grayson without even being here to defend himself

"get the fuck out, i won't ask you again," this time i'm raising my voice at him standing right close to his face smelling the liquor off his breath.

he pushes me back. "at least your mother didn't raise you to be a bitch like grayson," and that's when i take a swing at his jaw.
—
sorry i didn't update on thursday i got my phone taken away ... thank you for 11k!!

any opinions so far? also are you guys liking graysons pov?

—maritza ;))

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