touch me e.d

twenty-two

chapter 22

a/n: i rewrote this chapter :) don't play song yet

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lia;

"i remember," she tells me catching by surprise. "how can i forget that meeting and the energy in the room," she goes on

and charlie just fake gags. "get a room," he mentioned

"no need to," she says with an attitudes. "because nothing will happen," she said smirking at me and charlie tried so hard not scream.

"you can scream charlie,"she says and that's when i walked away.

play song

i admit i did fuck up with rose big time. i know what i did wasn't right but now i feel stupid that i even bothered to do it. she never treated me wrong like i did with her. instead of enjoying everything i had with her i tried to go back to ethan but it never worked out.as i was walking to class i bumped into ethan.

"sorry-," i said quickly but once he noticed it was me who he bumped into he rolled his eyes and walked away as if nothing happened.

the days went on and i would always try to make up for what i did to rose and ethan but it was never enough. i don't think they will ever forgive me especially rose.

there was a point in our relationship where i did feel something for her but i told myself that i needed ethan, only him. every time they reminded me what i did it made me feel terrible about it even more.

nothing will ever help me.

cheating doesn't justify for the way i was towards them and i am sorry, very sorry. but i'm ready to give up trying to get them to forgive me. i wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying of how disgusted i feel by myself.

how did i even go through with it? i'm such a horrible human being.

my mom would always say if you're not happy doing it then get out of it, why didn't i listen to her? why did i have to go through the same path my dad went. i seen how my dads choice broke my mom. i didn't even think how it would make rose feel.

i would hate myself, if i was rose.

my classes used to be fun but as the year went by i began to lose my friends because i wasn't keeping up with social gatherings anymore. my supposed to be friends were so busy trying to beat me to the top and make sure they did it. what they didn't know is how much i was tearing myself apart late at night.

i can still picture rose in my head sobbing when i told her i cheated. the way her expression changed once i said it, it broke her like it did to my mom. i was turning out to be like my dad. i would always say cheating is wrong if you're not happy why be in it?it's selfish yet, i was the dumbass to cheat on my loving, caring, beautiful girlfriend.

no one bothered to check up on me anymore. i built these walls so high that people just gave up trying to see how i really am. because as cliche as it sounds no one is how they present themselves.i presented myself as the popular girl who had boys and girls all over me.

i didn't care if i used them for my pleasure. i didn't bother to think about the consequences at the end. all the people i would call friends didn't even know my birthday or my favorite movie. but ethan and rose did, they know a lot about me.

rose even picked up on my habits, she would notice the way i acted if i was lying to her. when i would feel sad i would always eat chinese food and that's how she knew.

ethan knew when i was feeling sad as well or how i would always blush when he would tuck that small piece of hair behind my ear.

ethan and rose were one of the realist people i knew that i had by my side but i took it for granted.

[flash back]

"how can you do this to me? we have a daughter for fucks sake!" my mom yells loud in her room but what they didn't know is that it all went through my room.i crouch down covering my head with my hands, trying to ignore the loud yelling across from my room.

i can hear things he thrown and shatter. "i said i'm sorry!" my dad yells back my mom was already crying and i had to hear it all.

"sorry? you're sorry? i can't even look at you! was i not enough? you disgust me," she yells full on crying. "you're just going to throw away all years of us being married for a twenty three year old?" my mom goes on.

the more intense the fight got the worse i felt. "lia, is just thirteen and she walked in on you!"

the next thing i know my mom won't stop yelling back and forth with my dad. things were still being thrown "please stop," i tell myself. no matter how hard i tried to cancel out the yelling it didn't work. i was too scared to leave my room from all the loud yelling booming through the thin walls.

once i attempt to leave my room it's when my parents see me standing there all freaked out. "this is what you done, look at her she's all scared now," my mom argued once more

"now you want to blame me? maybe it's because of how of a bad mother you've been!" he yells right back at her in front of me.

they didn't even care that i was standing right in front of them as the tears streamed down my face.as i was standing there i closed my eyes hoping they would stop. instead of walking away i stayed there frozen in my spot.

i couldn't move. "stop fighting! i hate both of you!" i yell on the top of my lungs and soon fall onto the floor crying. they finally stop bickering back and forth getting closer to me.

"baby, i'm so sorry," my mom attempted to hug me. my dad just crouched down trying to get me to look at him"don't touch me," i flinch once my mom gets too close to me.

"i hate you both!" i yelled again crying.my mom stood back and started to break down.

"lia, you don't mean that. i'm sorry baby, i didn't mean to," she sobs, i shake my head.

"you guys argue all the time. i hate it, just make it stop!" i said

[flashback ends]

after that day i went to go move with my moms sister, my aunt. i still live with her till this day because i don't want to move back. it's been five years since the last time i was in the same room with both of my parents.

they finally got a divorce but my mom still lives in the same house. i tried going back to that house but i just can't. it reminds me of everything that i had to see as a kid.

i never told anyone about my parents growing up, not even rose or ethan. every time they asked to meet my parents i made up excuses for them not to. i was too ashamed of what happened and guilty. i still can't seem to let go of it all.so now i look back and feel like my dad. "lia?" someone calls out my name but i didn't answer.i was too busy being wrapped up in my inner thoughts. "lia," they exclaim and i see that it was charlie, rose's best friend.

"are you okay?" he asked

"yeah, sorry i just fell asleep late last night," i fake yawn. it was partly true, i kept waking up in the middle of the night screaming and crying for it to stop but it never does.

i'm started to question, if it ever will stop?

—-

rose;

i walk by lia having her head inside her locker. i can tell how her shoulders kept going up and down. "lia?" i called out her name. she didn't bother to look at me.

i get closer to her and hear that she's crying."go away," she whispers trying to make it seem like she's not crying but instead of leaving i take her inside the bathroom.

luckily no one was out of classes yet.she stands there against the wall as she began to hyperventilate. "i'm sorry- i'm really sorry. i can't sleep anymore. all i can see is you crying and telling me how shitty i am. trust me i know that and i can't seem to live with myself," she starts sobbing

"lia, i need you to calm down. you're barely breathing," i place my hands onto her shoulders

—-

i decided to rewrite some of my chapters so the one after this one will rewritten 🤠. so the whole situation of ethan being caught won't be a thing anymore:)opinions on this chapter??—maritza 🕷