What If...?|| A "Dear Evan Hansen" Fanfiction

Chapter Four- Oh No 2.0

He kept checking his phone. He couldn't help it, every second refreshing his feed on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. All the places that people might talk about his letter and where Connor would spread his embarrassment.

He had begged his mom to stay home that night, the therapy session he had being of no help as he explained that someone had 'something of his' that was 'private and would ruin him if shared'. He thought about what would happen if the letter got out, wondering what other forms of social media the other students used. Was he really that out of the loop?

All he could do was lean back in his chair on the bus. His eye catching that he had gotten an email, way late in the night from his mystery emailer.

He had been so caught up in his own issues that he hadn't seen the email, but as he opened it, he took notice that there was something wrong. Very wrong.

There was no entry. No 'Dear Evan Hansen' to start the email off. All it said was;

"Everyone hates me at school. You hate me too."

Evan narrowed his eyes at the email, wondering if he should reply, his hand tapping the side of his phone. He opened a reply email, just typing without an entry, much like the message he received.

"What? Why would I hate you, dude? I've never even met you, and your emails have kept me going every day.

You are one of my closest friends. I know high school is tough, trust me, everyone hates me too. Even those who have never taken the time to know me. But if we can get through this, who knows how easy it will get when we get out. Keep fighting.

Sincerely,

Me"

He hit send just as the bus drew to a halt, his bag feeling heavy as he pulled it onto his shoulder. He got off the bus and inhaled sharply through his nose, before making his way towards the school. He was running a little late, so without bothering to go to his locker, he went to his first period, again seated behind Alana Beck. She was bragging to someone else that day about how she spent her summer. How productive it had been.

He watched the door with intense eyes, mustering the courage to go and approach Connor the minute he walked into the door. But minutes passed, the teacher began her lesson... And as the hour passed, Connor didn't show.

He wasn't too surprised by it and honestly, he felt that the rest of the day went smoothly because of it. No sudden angry outbursts, no being shoved to the ground or anxiety over stolen letters. But he still worried about the one Connor had in his possession.

Soon it came to lunch, as still no catastrophe. Jared hadn't said anything to him, and no one was laughing at him about the letter. Maybe, just maybe Connor had kept it to himself. But there was another red flag. Zoe wasn't there either.

It was only the second day, so it seemed odd that Zoe (who he assumed was a good student) wasn't there. And the chances of both her and Connor being gone at the same time... What were the odds? Maybe Connor did show her the letter, and both were avoiding him.

But again, nothing for the rest day, or the next...

He decided to go and find Jared at lunch the next day. He wasn't entirely sure why he was, but as he got closer, Jared expressed his annoyance. "Hello," Jared greeted, not bothering to meet his eyes as he leaned the chair back on its back two legs.

"Hey... uh, have you seen the Murphy's?"

"No. Why? Are you looking for Zoe?"

Even inwardly groaned, regretting ever telling Jared that he had any feelings for Zoe. He simply turned to walk away, when Jared called out after him, "no I haven't, but I'll tell her you're looking for him if I do!"