What If...?|| A "Dear Evan Hansen" Fanfiction

Chapter Five- A Moment of Realization

I leave for a couple of weeks and come back to more readers than I have ever had. Thank you so much. Life has been absolute shit and the things I have had to suffer has been far too much for me. So coming back and seeing so many loving my fanfic. It inspires me to write. Thank you so much. <3)

"He wrote this letter and addressed it to you. You should have it."  

She held out the letter, Evan looking at it. In that envelope held the letter he had written himself. The letter that he was so worried about getting posted, being handed back to him. No yelling, no 'you're a creep get away from my daughter'. None of that. His worries and anxieties about it... just handed back to him. "What...? Where is Connor?" 

The two looked at each other, their eyes filled with sorrow as the dad turned to him. "Connor tried to kill himself."

 "Oh my god..." was all that Evan could say, he looked to the envelope and a pang hit his chest. Did that mean the letter... his letter... did they think that this was-?

"His last words. Addressed to you." 

"He's gone...?" The woman shook her head, a soft look in her eyes. 

"No. Not yet at least, he's unconscious. Has been for three days now and they're not sure if he'll wake up." That explains why they were missing... he thought to himself, fiddling with the letter.

"Go on, open it." 

Evan hesitated, but he did so, opening the seal and pulling his letter out. The side still crumpled from Connor's tight grip on it. His eyes scanning his own words. "Listen. I don't think you understand. This isn't Connor," 

"I'm sure it's a lot to take in right now, Evan," Ms. Murphy said, her hands gripping Evan's. He could see on her face how hard she was trying to keep it together. Her son lay alone in a hospital bed. While they came all this way to deliver a fake suicide note to him. Her eyes trailed down, and she gasped at the cast on Evan's arm. 

"Oh my god, Larry, look!" She gestured towards it, both of them staring at the writing on his arm.

 Evan looking between them. He shook his head, pulling away. He couldn't do this, not now. He simply gripped the letter in his hand, making his way to the door. The mother watching him with sorrowed eyes. "I really have to go. I'm sorry." 

With that, he rushed out of the room. His sweaty hand gripping the letter that he so badly wanted to throw away. 

He wanted it to burn, to disappear. This was bad. He had to explain. What if Connor woke up and found out about the entire mess? What then? He would be dead for sure. But Connor. Someone he knew... tried to kill himself. And it wasn't him. But he could see in the faces of his parents just what that was doing to them. Just what it did do. He, on the other hand, was lucky to get away with a broken arm. Would his mom have looked like Ms. Murphy did? Everything ran into his head all at once. He had messed up, bad. 

"Hey." He spun around to be met face-to-face with Mr. Murphy, or Larry as the woman had called him. In his hand, he held a small card, a number scrawled across it. "If you want to go see him, feel free to call this number. We'll pick you up." 

Evan muttered a small thanks, taking the card into his hand and looking at it. The name, Larry and Cynthia Murphy written at the top. He sighed, looking up at him. "My best regards to you and your family," was all that he managed to say, Larry, looking down at his feet. 

"This isn't the first time with him, Evan. I should have known better than to leave my meds in the cabinet. Oh, and here," yet another envelope was handed to him, Larry's mouth curling at the corners.