Born to rule ('Born to be a slave' sequel)

17

Edmund was sleeping, so calm, as if nothing happened the last night. I admire his power to forget things so easily. Though maybe he is hiding his true emotions. I don't know. Edmund definitely has learned to cope with everything that comes at him.

I on other hand can't forget the conversation between my husband and his mother. Every word has dug deep in my memory, impossible to erase the feeling it created in my heart - hurt and suffocating rejection by everyone.

I need so much strength just to put up with everyday encounters with various people, to get to know them and be aware of their intentions, which are not always in favor of me.

I miss those carefree months in Wiltshire's summer house, Fiona, James and everybody else I got to know over the years. Seems like I have to start everything from beginning. Finding new friends, watching out of foes and create my new life in alien world.

Sometimes I doubt myself, can I really accomplish my dreams against all odds?

I can't do it without the support of my closest ones, especially Edmund. I need him for me to stay strong. After all my purpose had been to be by his side, whether as a slave, a wife or a queen.

The urge to hug him tightly had been overwhelming and without waiting for him to open his eyes, I wrap my hands around him.

Deep down in his chest I can hear a heartbeat. Like a silent clock it rings in my ears calming my troubled thoughts just for some time.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up." I squeezed him tighter, when I felt him stir up.

"Hmm... ."

Edmund looked still asleep, like a drowsy bear awakened from winter sleep, with his movements slow and sluggish.

He glanced at me through the corner of his eye.

"... just don't be a grumpy today... ."

I prayed that he will be in better mood.

"It depends, if I get my share of sunshine!"

My heart relaxed, when I noticed his lips form a sweet smile.

"I will give you as much as you want." My arms wrapped around Edmund in tighter coils as an unmovable smile formed on my face. My heart was melting in happiness and delight of seeing his face holding positive emotion.

"I just need a little bit." His chest rumbled with soft laughter.

In turn he did the same to me, hugged me so tight, I almost lost my breath.

"Edmund? Could you please let me go?"

"No... ."

"Edmund!"

"I will never let you go... ." His voice was muffled in crook of my neck.

My heart filled with warmth and delight, that he thinks of me the same way as I do, that he holds me dear.

"What would I do without you?" Edmund looked deep in to my eyes. The specs of sun coming from a window played in his out-worldly orbs.

It appeared as if a magical creature has been gifted to me, so rare, but at the same time, just as normal as everyone else.

"I would loose my sanity, if I wouldn't see you every day, hold in my arms and protect you."

I suppressed a delightful giggle under his soft lips, a soft kiss, which stirred up the swarm of flapping wings inside of me. I was so happy, but I kept in mind, that everything can change in a split of a second. You could never know, when things will turn bad or something will throw him out of his good mood, which comes unexpectedly.

We basked in sun lit room for some time, until it passed our window. My back was pressed against his wide chest, he hold me in tight embrace.

I have never asked him so personal question, but this has always troubled my mind, kept me thinking and ponder of what the truth is.

"Do you love your mother?"

Edmund's slowly moving chest stopped and I could imagine raised eyebrow on his noble face. His arms wrapped tighter around my waist and I felt him exhale on back of my neck.

"Where did that come from?"

"I... I have always been thinking about your mother and you... ."

I didn't want him to think I heard a conversation from the last night. It was not a lie, but just now I thought I could get my answers.

"I have never seen you spend time with her. Mostly you are quite rude and... she seems distant too. Sorry if my question is bothersome. I just want to know.... my family ..." I hold his palm tight for emotional support.

"The truth to be said.... I don't love my mother. I have never felt anything warm towards her. I could say I hate her, but in reality it wouldn't be what I really feel. ... I feel strong resentment." Edmund took a long pause. "I think she never thought of me as something special too. Except from my uniquely inherited blood. She loves only the attention of what my existence has brought. Since the day I can remember, my life has been filled with obligations to please others. Almost like I was created just to bring all these people together, unite them, make them happy and safe in this world. My mother saw the same, but most importantly, she has always used me for the fame I gave. She was nothing before my birth, just another noble woman, so ordinary, with boring life. She never cared for me as her child. I was just a thing in her life. I felt even worse than a forgotten animal in the barn."

Edmund's voice was quiet and I could hear sadness seep through each of his word. I couldn't help, but shed a tear hearing his inner feelings, something he has carried since his childhood.

"She didn't think of the power, her little activities would give me. The power of the true ruler came straight to whom it belonged – to me. Despite her efforts, she still has gained nothing from my position, only attention. She feels bitter, but I am not sorry for her."

Edmund sighed heavily.

"Our family will be so much different, I promise."

"What about your father?"

"I... Sometimes I truly hate him."

"Why? Did he do something worse?"

"You could say that... . I hate him for that, he never tried to intervene between me and my mother. He allowed her to use me all my childhood, rob me of the innocence I should have experienced in my age. Maybe I would have grown to be a different person – more sane, kinder... ." He let out a soft laugh, but not filled with joy.

"I think he cares about you. I know it."

"Maybe, but I think it's kind of too late."

"It is too late, if you give up. I believe your father has always wished you good. I never felt him as a bad person..."

"Do you think, I am a bad person?" He abruptly changed the subject.

I glanced at him and saw a small mischievous smirk had appeared in his features.

"If you would try, I could say you are a pleasant person to meet. You are most definitely not a bad person, just spoiled."

"I will get you for this!" He said in grumbling voice. "Get up! I need to show you something."

I felt his fingertips dig in my sides, which made me jump out of bed immediately.

"I didn't know you are ticklish!"

"I didn't too... ."

I could feel my cheeks get hot, while Edmund watched me from other side of the bed, looking childishly playful.

"What is it? Should I be worried?"

His smile slowly disappeared. Edmund's eyes now hold some strange concerning emotion.

"It depends of how you will handle it. It's something about the 'party'.