One Chance

His feeling

                                          ------빠삐용------

In front of Jingyu's sacred room, Weizhou halted his course abruptly.

"Don't you fucking dare to ever come into my room! Your filth presence had staining all over my house, so just let my room clean from your presence. That's all I asked from you." Jingyu said on the first day he came to this mansion.

Although he said it with a soft voice but the words felt like a knife that had killed half of Weizhou's soul. Since then he never once try to enter the room. Even Jingyu himself had never entered his own room after that. 

He noticed it.

Weizhou struggled more to release his wrist from the other man, but failed. It turns out, Jingyu determination was stronger than him. Because no matter what, Jingyu had promised to himself that he want Weizhou to feel the love again. He would never let go of this hand in his.

"Please Weizhou. Give me a chance to build our life together." he begged with a wistful tone.

"A chance needs to be sought not given." Weizhou quickly refute those words.

And Jingyu smile at that remarks... because for the first time, that voice was especially dedicated to him.

"That's true. And I found that chance. This is that chance. But if you didn't let me grab this chance, I would never found any other chance in my life. Just this once, please let me grab this chance!" Jingyu tighten the grip at the both hands, he now holds. Weizhou immediately look away, doesn't want to stare into those eyes for too long. 

He was just too afraid to find the truth behind it. Afraid that what he saw might be different from what he wants.

What if it was only guilt and pity?

Your filth presence had staining all over my house, so just let my room clean from your presence. 

"I don't want to pollute your sacred room with my filth...."

"No!" And Jingyu quickly cuts Weizhou's words emphatically. Though he wants to hear Weizhou's voice more often, but not when he uttered a word that could hurt his own heart. He would rather let Weizhou to curse him instead of saying something like that. "I won't deny everything that I had said, but just know that when I said it there's no love... no..." Jingyu paused, wanting to rephrase his words, "...the love was there, and it was just me that don't realize it. I was blind for not seeing it. I let anger to take over myself. I'm so stupid... really idiot for not realizing it sooner. It's sound really lame, but it's true. I only realize it when I... when I lose you... almost."

Jingyu shifted uncomfortably, then took a deep breath before looked up again in hope of meeting Weizhou's eyes. And his wish granted, Weizhou was currently staring up on his face.

"I know how it feels when I once lose you for the first time. It's just a dream, but it was real. And now I won't let it to happen again."

Weizhou then looked away again, didn't want to hear him anymore when at the same time he winced as suddenly there's jab of pain went through his head.

Jingyu, as if he understood the sign, he stopped at there. Giving time to Weizhou to sort out his mind. He do not want to push him anymore, he know that if he pushed him too hard, Weizhou's terrible headache might attacking him and worsen his condition again. That was doctor Liu's last advice before they departed.

Silence then crawling in between them and they just stand at the hallway for quite a long time, sailing deep inside their own feeling.

"You looked really pale..." Jingyu finally interrupted the silence established. Noticed Weizhou's current condition, he immediately felt really worry. "Don't think of anything for now, let's just get some rest."