Anxious Boy

28

"What the hell?" Was my reaction to myself screwing up once again. My wrist was bleeding a lot as I sat in the bathroom and I started having a panic attack because it's a lot of blood.

"Think I just cut way too deep." Randomly text Luke knowing he'll most likely help, but he's busy with the album. Set my phone down and laid down hearing Petunia scratch at the door and whine. Everything started going blurry because I might've lost too much blood and I can feel it on my wrist trickling down. Pretty sure there's a small pool of blood next to me as I pass out. When I wake up, I hear beeping and I feel myself in the hospital bed. Tears stream down my cheeks and see Luke asleep on the chair next to me, plus it's night time and probably late now. Then the machine next to me starts rapidly beeping and I know something's wrong as I start to pass out feeling like I can't breathe. Now I'm in a coma and can't breathe on my own. I'm out of my body, I can see and hear whatever's in the room with me. In the morning, Luke cries learning that I'm in a coma now.

"Luka, baby." It hurts seeing him like this, but he doesn't see or hear me. 

"Babe please wake up. I can't live without you." He's holding my hand now as he continues to cry. 

"Oh god, I gotta tell them now." Luke gets up and walks outside. Isn't he supposed to be at the studio? He brings out his phone and presses on Ash's name, calling him and informing him he won't be there today. Then he calls Garrett and after that, he calls Awsten telling them everything. In a few minutes, they show up crying and worried that I won't make it.

"He cut a major artery." When Luke tells them, I'm shocked.

"Oh fuck." Swear they hear me when they stop talking and look towards the sound.

"Lets go inside now." Luke guides them to my hospital room. They all stand next to me, staring at me like I'm a piece of art. 

"He looks so peaceful." Garrett says aloud.

"Just like he always wanted." Awsten cries some more.

"He randomly texted me when I was super busy at the studio working on the new album. When I looked at my phone, my breathing stopped and my heart skipped a beat. I ran out of there and hurried back home, hoping I wasn't too late." Luke tells them as they group hug and cry some more. Should I really give up and die? They obviously love and care about me a lot. Why would I want to hurt them like this? Pretty sure this is torture to them. 

"Wake up!" I yell at myself, now angry feeling like what I did was selfish. Swear they hear me again because they're scared and worried looking at the spot I'm in. Still they can't see me and I'm thankful for that. Then I feel myself being pulled back into my body.