When He Was Mine

Chapter 12: She's My Girl

"Josh...", I trailed off. Thinking of things I could say to him. Things I needed to say and clarify to him. Bakit sya ganito?

The smile he threw at me was bitter and painful to watch. Gusto kong mainis sa sarili ko at magalit dahil alam ko kung bakit ganun ang inaasta nya. Ramdam ko ang titig ng mga classmates namin sa paligid but I couldn't help but ignore them. Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko sa sobrang kaba at takot. I hate this kind of situation.

Slowly, he lowered the bouquet of flowers and the chocolates with his hand, he even looked devastated. Mas sumakit ang puso ko.

"Why?", I asked inaudibly. He shrugged.

"I'm sorry", Josh silently turned his back on me and walked to his seat which was on the other side of the room, but not before leaving the flowers on my table. I bit my lip, gusto ko talagang umiyak pero I just sighed heavily before sitting down.

The professor went in and that was the only time everyone put their attention to where they should belong while I put the flowers under my table. The classes started and ended in a blur. Wala sa klase ang interes ko. From time to time, hindi ko mapigilang padapuin ang mata ko sa likod ni Josh and he looked normal. Pero alam kong hindi. I let out another sigh when the bell rang. Everyone hastily got out of the room. Half day lang ang klase dahil may conference daw lahat ng teachers with the administrators and board of trustees g school. Inaayos ko ang mga gamit ko at pagtayo ko, nasa harap ko na si Micky. He was all smiles. Sa sobrang gulat, halos mabitawan ko ang bag ko at nabunggo pa sa upuan dahil sa pag atras.

"What?", natatwang tanong nya. "Are you okay?", ngiting ngiti pa rin sya. Unti-unti, humuhupa ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Nagulat talaga ako sa biglang pagsulpot nya.

"You scared me", medyo nahahapo kong sagot sabay hampas sa kanya ng bag ko. Natawa lang ulit sya.

"Grabe ka naman. Ako lang to. Sa gwapo kong 'to, nakakaoffend ang reaction mo. Parang kang nakakita ng multo. Ng gwapong multo", pang-aasar nya. Tuwang-tuwa talaga 'tong lalaking 'to. Ang saya-saya nya kaninang umaga pa. Seeing him being all happy lifted something from me. It soothed the guilt eating me up earlier as I see Josh's face.

Should I be guilty of being happy with the one I truly love?

Should I be sorry if I choose to be happy?

"What's wrong?", suddenly, Micky's smiles faded. Hindi ko napansin dahil iniisip ko ang lahat lahat ng nangyayari.

"What? Ano'ng what's wrong?", I lied. Pineke ko pati ang tawang ibinigay ko sa kanya. I don't want to be the reason kung bakit bigla na lang syang malulungkot. I want to deal with my own problems. I want him to be always happy and not drag him down with my own shits.

I shook my head and smiled even wider.

"Sure?", he tried to catch my sight with his own.

"Oo nga. Ang kulit mo", I laughed and hugged him. I felt him stiffened at my sudden embrace but later on, I felt his arms wrapped around me, locking me on him. Tightly.

"Wag mo nga akong gulatin ng yakap mo. Aatakihin ako sa puso dahil sa kilig eh", Micky kissed my hair.

"Siraulo ka talaga",kinurot ko sya sa tagiliran.

"Crazy pero mahal ka naman", he said. Umiinit ang mukha ko sa mga hirit nya.

"Argh! Ang cheesy mo"

"Cheesy only for you", he chuckled and I laughed, too. This time, totoo na.

Kasing totoo na merong kami.

Humiwalay ako ng yakap pero mukhang ayaw nya pa. Pilit akong kumakawala pero hinihigpitan nya talaga.