Yoongi POV
Running my hand through my hair weakly, I'm nearly in shock despite the fact that I'm not the least bit surprised. It's the end of the day now, a little past midnight as I'm finally walking back from BigHit while everyone else is probably fast asleep at home.
Pursuing my lips that are already in a small pout, I keep my head tilted towards the ground, my gaze falling even lower if possible. I try hard not to cry as I go, not wanting to get my mask all soggy, but not really having the energy to fight them off. It's officially no longer my birthday since it's past midnight, and not a single person said anything of it. Nobody remembered that it was my birthday.
Shaking my head to myself with a pained smile, I tilt my head back to look up at the light polluted sky above me, the stars not at all visible from how much light Seoul gives off.
Sighing to myself, I let the tears fall freely, deciding that, maybe it's time to finally end this. Time to end it all.
Soon reaching the house, I feel even emptier and even more left behind when I find it actually locked, someone usually making sure to leave it unlocked for me. Chuckling humorlessly, I groan quietly as I pull the key from underneath our welcome mat, unlocking the door before returning it to its rightful place.
Biting my bottom lip, I nod in agreement with myself, that it's time I end things. Finally end my suffering and get the hell out of everyone else's way.
Closing the door behind me and locking it, I look around for the vlive phone that we keep here. Finding it on the dining room table, I go grab it before heading straight over to my studio on the first floor of our house. Opening the door to the room, I feel a cold shiver run up my spine, my heart sinking in my chest as I know it's time to go.
Leaving the door just lightly cracked, I go over to my desk, setting the phone down on it as I take a seat. With the lack of feeling flooding my body, a sinking feeling in my head and swarming my chest, I pull out my notebook, deciding that, if I'm going to leave, the least I can do is say goodbye. So, grabbing my favorite pen, I begin to write a letter. First one addressed to everyone but Jungkook, and then I'll write a separate one for our maknae.
It doesn't take long to write either one, at least as far as I'm aware of, soon folding them up and leaving them neatly on the desk before putting the notebook away once more. Turning my attention back to the vlive phone, I sigh quietly, reaching out and setting everything up before starting it.
Surprisingly, there's a lot more people signing on than I expected. I just stay silent though, waiting for a decent handful before starting.
"Hi everyone. Umm... Suga here." I greet them quietly, my cooling gaze locking on the camera, my smile or any form of it nowhere to be seen. It all just feels heavy.
"It's currently... 12:37 am here. Thirty eight minutes since my birthday came to an end." I inform them, knowing that there's plenty of international fans... Hopefully...
Sighing to myself, I look away for a moment as I run my hand through my hair. Glancing back over to the camera, I give them a ghost of a smile.
"Thank you, everyone... I,... I think it's time to end this." I say softly, the ghostly smile disappearing as I speak. With a deep breath, I reach out and end the vlive. Adjusting the letters I'd written so that they're in the middle of my desk in plain sight, I stand up and grab the vlive phone to return it to where it had been. The boys won't even have to know that I said goodbye to the fans too. No one will have to worry. It's not like they pay that much attention to me anyways.
Stepping outside of my studio room and returning the phone where it belongs, I head back over to the front door before pausing. Looking back, over to the stairs where I know all of the others are currently fast asleep upstairs, not a single concern of what I'm doing in their minds right now. I bite my lip with a small sigh, hanging my head as I step out of the house, closing the door as quietly as possible behind me so as not to wake any of them. Feeling the cool night air hit my face, I let a small pout onto my lips, wishing I didn't have to leave like this, but knowing it's time.
YOU ARE READING
3AM: Life or Death?
Fanfiction"But what it all comes down to, is 3am. 3am will tell you just how very much your heart is hurting. 3am can determine life or death." One hyung who has been in pain for far too long. Reading the hate. Pushing himself to be better. Pushing himself n...
