Save me Usagi ( a junjou romantica love fiction)

Chapter 19: Is this the end...

(A/N: Hey guys, so I'm gonna say it now. This is the second to last chapter. I know it's upsetting and all but I feel like this one is just dragging on and I kinder wanna start the outcomes in the sequel. So here you go. I won't publish the last chapter until I finish the first chapter to second. )

I awoke the next morning to find something warm and comforting right next to me. I didn't want to open my eyes but I knew I had to at some point. Hesitantly, I pry my eyes open but instantly regret it. The sun was piercing me with its rays of death. 'Why does the sun have to be so bright' I thought to myself as I groan and try to turn over so my face will no longer be in line with that ball of light.

"Misaki, are you awake?" A voice behind me asked. My body instantly stiffened as I recognized who the warmth belonged to and who that melodic voice belonged to. Usagi. Without even giving me time to respond, he wrapped his arms around my small, sort of feminine, figure. He pulled me into a sitting position and sat me on his lap which surprisingly, was comfortable. Without me even realizing it, I snuggled into Usagi for his warmth.

'I'll take that as a yes" he chuckled and ran his big hands through my bed head. I nodded in response, not wanting to speak. Now that I think about it, since the incident I don't like talking much. I feel like someone's gonna ask me about it and then I'm gonna have an anxiety attack and faint. I may be put in a health institute for hell knows how long and I defiantly don't wanna go there. I'll be taken away from my family, friends and Usagi. I don't wanna leave them!

All these thoughts kept running through my head as if it was a broken record, never being able to play till the end. I gripped onto my lover's shirt as if my life depended on it. It felt like if I let go, he would be taken away from me in a blink of an eye. My breath became choppy and I kept gasping for air.

"Misaki!" Usagi's voice echoed through the room. I felt his hands grasp onto my arms and I felt the tears drip onto me from his violet eyes.

'He doesn't really care about you'

'You're just in the way'

'Just die already!'

'Bring the blade back. You know you want to'

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!" I screamed to the sky, tears flowing freely down my face. My mind was racing as everything around me started to fade into darkness and loneliness.

Week time skip cause I can and you can't do anything about it muhaha XD

Anyways, Misaki can now move around. Don't question my logic.

I walked through mine and Usagi's suit slowly, as the pain still lingered in my body. Last week he told my brother everything that happened and, well, he passed out. I guess you could say that's when he also found out that I and Usagi were dating. And his reaction to it was NOT what I expected... he started to jump up and down like a little fan girl and said he was happy as tears fell from his eyes. Man my brother is wacked!

'Hello again Misaki'

Oh shit! Their back. Why won't they just leave me be? I guess I can't fight my demons. I fell into temptation yet again and now I have to wear long sleeves to hide my 'drawings '. If Usagi found out, he would surely kill me and then have me incarcerated. I don't wanna leave him and he can never find out. It's for his own sanity. Right?

'Just one Misaki, c'mon. He'll never find out. I promise I'll protect you.' The voices lied, yet, some part of me believed him.

Dr. Nowaki came over every day now as well as Mr. Hiro. Who brings me work? I know it's weird but he doesn't mind. Technically he's home schooling me which Usagi says what's going to happen from now on. He never lets me outside unless one of those three are with me which I guess is ok.

I darted to my room, hoping my author didn't noticed and shut the door behind me. Then, my eyes whiz like bullets to my bedside table and look at a prisoner's cell door. My hands shakily opened the side cabinet and there it was, smiling back at me. My razors.

There were about five of them sharing a room. I grabbed the one which was the sharpest and sat on my bed, having second thoughts on this. But I knew the voices wouldn't stop till I inflicted more pain to my body. It's still a question that I can't answer. Why do they enjoy seeing me in pain? Why do they enjoy seeing me suffer? Am I not good enough? Am I just a waist to everyone and it's their job to make me feel the pain all the others feel when they look after me? Do I really cause this much pain to my loved ones? Maybe I should disappear!

My sleeves were rolled up to my elbows and I inspected my creations. There were scars upon scars that cascaded my wrists to my elbow bone. 'Time for some more' I thought as I smiled like a maniac. Crimson liquid began to flow down my arm like a waterfall, reaching the hard ground beneath it. 1, 2,3,4,5, I lost count after that. What's wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this?

Blood was spattered in blotchy spaces on the hard wooden floor beneath me. Both my arms burnt from the torn skin that was laying open on my arms. My vision as I stumbled to the bathroom to wash my arms. The water felt like rubbing alcohol that you put over an open wound. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from crying out in pain. Once done, I pulled off my shirt and put on a new, black long sleeved shirt over my messy brown hair. I cleaned up the blood puddle with my black towel, so Usagi wouldn't see any stain.

Man, I'm such an ass hole. Why don't I just hurry up and end it all?!

Tears fell from my face as I fell onto the bed, falling out of consciousness.