Save me Usagi ( a junjou romantica love fiction)

Chapter 17: please forgive me

" Is Misaki awake..." Usagi asked. '  Shit' I thought. But, oh well, I wanted Usagi to know that I was awake and I despratly wanted to see him. It felt like we haven't seen each other in years yet it had only been, well, I actually have no idea. Maybe I have been asleep for years but I still feel the pain, So maybe I haven't been a sleep for eons.

 I remember the last time when he said thoes loving words, I caught a fever and I collapsed infront of the door to what was now our apartment. The next thing I knew, I herd his melodic voice asking if I was awake. I wanted to respond but found that I could not. I had one of those mask things on my face, helping me breath. 

 " He'll be able to move about in about a week" the doctor informed Usagi. He simply nodded,  bidded the man fare well and then jogged over to my bedside. He began to curse himselfe for letting me get sick, I tried to reasure him that it was my own fault yet he wouldn't listen to a word I had to say on the matter.

My gazed wandered over to  the door where I saw Dr. Nowaki, sweat dripping down his face as if he was concerned that a huge secret was about to be reviled. I opened my mouth to ask him a question but all that came out was another groan. it really hurt to talk.

 Insantily, Dr. Nowaki's face whiped to face me with even more concern, even if  that was posible. He mouthed to me ' are you ok? ' and I just gave him one of thoes ' what do you think' faces in return. I mean c'mon, I'm groaning in agony at every little move i  make I'm not just gonna go ' yeah I'm perfectly fine and I don't need to stay in bed for heven knows how long.

 I mean don't get me wrong, I love staying in bed but  under thease condishions, I just want to be able to walk around once again and not stiffen up in my bedroom which has now become my prision cell.

Dr. Nowaki walked over to me and checked the IV bag thingys that were hanging above my head. By look on his, I could tell they were ok. He then lent down to help me sit up but it was a bad move. The instant he touched me, I became scared for my life and I let out  an ear piercing scream and began thrashing around like no tomorrow.

Each time our skin made contact, it felt like my bones were being crushed into a million pieces. It was as if someone took a tourch and put it against my bare chest. 

Why was this happening to me? After all that I've been through, why am I put through more pain? 

 ( Q/A/N: Hey guys, so on from here it's sort of a rant/ badmouthing religion/ God so if your really religious then plz don't get mad at me and I will put another Q/A/N later on to siginal that the rant is over) 

 Is this my punishment? But I haven't done anything wrong. Does God just hate my gut's? Does he think of me just a mistake and just a general piece of shit? I guess he does other wise I wouldn't feel this pain. I guess he's just taking out his anger on me. I'm nothing but a punch bag to him. Well screw you and piss off. I know he won't listen but it's worth a try I guess.

 I guess God found out that I'm an athiest and don't believe in anything that's said about him and now he's taking me out as if I was a bug. I also guess he's getting me for loving a person of the same sex as I am and that's apprantly a deadly sin. Well with that then I'm sorry but he can go bitch somewhere else cause if being gay, lesbian or bisextual is a sin then why did he create us. People say that he made us in his image, then If loving someone of the same sex is a sin then why did he make us this way. I now HATE him, more than I already did.

(Q/A/N: Hey again, well thats the end of my rant. pls no hatin for what I said and I did warn you if your really religious then skip that part. This was not me personally taking the nick out of god. I'm not an athiest yet I'm not religious at the same time. I look at things from a logical/ scientific prospective.)

" Misaki, whats wrong?!" Dr. Nowaki asked with his now trembling voice. The pain was to great for me to even give him a reply or any notification that I was ok. The only thing I kept doing was screaming and thrashing around. 

 The last time I felt this much pain was when my parents died when I was 8. I wouldn't let anyone touch me other than my brother and even sometimes he couldn't touch me. This went on but got worse when  I turned 10. I began to eat less and keep my distance from everyone. That was also when I began to things that left countless scars on my body, phsically and mentally.

 At the age of 14 I finally got my life back on track and was doing good. I promised myself that I wouldn't do anything like that again, for my brothers sake.

The door to my bedroom flew off it's hinges as Usagi darted in with Mr. Hiro not far behind him. " Whats going on!"  Usagi yelled at what seemed to be the top of his lungs. 

My vision became blurry more and more by the second and It just wasn't from the tears. How much more pain can my body take? I feel like I've just eaten a ghost pepper yet with more intense pain. I just want this all to end. Why me? 

"Usagi, I don't know whats wrong with him. the instant I touched him he started thrashing around and I cant let go now in case one of his wounds re- opens. HELP ME!!" Dr. Nowaki hollared. I felt another set of hands grabb me. They felt big so I'm guessing it's Usagis hands yet, that only made me scream even louder. I began to thrash around more and I felt something inside me crack.

" P-please let M-me go...." I whimpered. In that instant, Mr. Hiro pulled Usagi and Dr. Nowaki away from me and then engulfed me in a hug. Once I felt his arms fall around me, for some reason, I felt safe which I should when I'm in Usagi's arms. 

My sobbs ceased and I relaxed into his arm's. I was placed in- between his legs so my head was resting on his chest. " You're ok Misaki" He whispered into my ear. Those were the last words I herd, before everything faded to darkness.

Usagi, why does it hurt when you touch me?  

(A/N: Hey guys, so I know I haven't published for a long time but I've been dealing with family issues and someone has been toying with my emotions so for the past few days I haven't left my room then I felt like i should make a chapter for you guys. I'm sorry If this chapter sucks but I think I'll do 2 more chapters and then start the second book in the trilogy, what do you guys think? KEEP SMILING :) disclamer: I don't own anything of Junjou romantica, just the story line.   )