Kya Pyaar Karoge Mujhse....

Chapter 66- Bare Feelings

Firstly, I am sorry for the late update but in my defense, I fell sick! 

I worked for straight ten hours for two days in a row, in an air-conditioned room where not one of my colleague was ready to change the temperature from 18° so yeah, welcome fever!

Also, I was super bummed out because KPKM's reads went from 99K to 92K out of nowhere?

Anyways, I am all well now so here's the new chapter! Enjoy!

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"I'll have to say." Annika continued. "I'm thoroughly impressed."

"What do you mean?" He asked and she chuckled softly.

"Well, I am one hundred percent sure that if we had had this conversation five years ago, you would not have been so calm. Instead, you would have been quite angry and-

"Violent?" He said and she looked at him, surprised.

"No, I-

"I know I could have been. And I am sorry for that." He said and she smiled.

"Look at you, saying sorry, explaining yourself and all." She said and he bit his lip. "You've really changed, Vikram will be relieved."

"What do you mean by that?" He frowned and she sighed.

"Well, he doesn't like you a lot." She said and he shook his head in surprise.

"What do you mean by that? I thought he loved me!" He said with widened eyes and she laughed.

"Umm...no, you thought wrong, I am sorry." She said and he nodded with a snicker.

"Can't say I don't agree with him. I wouldn't like a man like me for Prinku ever." He said and sighed. "But I appreciate him for not punching me for that."

"Ya, those brothers have very different...methods of stating their opinions." She said and he chuckled.

"One brother's method is much more acceptable, if I may say so." He said and she nodded with a smile. "Well, um, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." She said and he looked at her.

"Why do you think we couldn't become the family you wanted?" He asked a question which had always poked him in the years she was not with him and she gulped before taking a deep breath. For a whole minute, she remained quite, trying to gather all her thoughts in just a few sentences before finally speaking.

"I don't think I ever...it was never about a family which I wanted...I think it was always about a family which I needed." She said and looked down. "The Oberois, they were always sweet to me, like OmRu and Jhanvi Aunty or Shakti Uncle, Dadi, Priyanka...they were good to me. You, Pinky Aunty, Tej Uncle had...certain opinions about me which...became a restriction towards liking or accepting me I guess. You guys were always on two sides, the white side or the black side. And I think I didn't realise that until I came here and met the Jaisinghs." She said and looked at him. "When I told them about you and our past, they accepted it and supported me and still, they never hesitated to criticise me or tell me what they really think. In every big decision of my life, they have been a huge part. They had their opinions, their disagreements, their fights about it but at the end, they were on the same side, my side, the grey side. And family is about that, who, at the end of the day, is on one side. Like you all are now. I don't think I ever felt that love before which I felt when I met you all again. You all were together, so happy, carefree, really united. Maybe it happened because of Soumya and Gauri coming in all your lives for a positive, better change or maybe it was a test against time, I don't know."

"I am sorry-

"You don't have to say sorry about everything Shivaay. Please." She said and held his hand with a soft smile. "I know you feel sorry but I think we should stop feeling guilty. Whatever happened, it wasn't pleasant but it made us what we are today. It made me, Annika, finally the independent woman I always wanted to be. It made you, Shivaay, Stone Singh Oberoi, a Softie Singh Oberoi."

He laughed and tightened his own hold on her hand.

"Annika, I want to tell you something. And you don't have to say anything about it, okay?" He said and she nodded. "I love you."

She blinked once, twice, thrice, ten times as his words sank in. Slowly, softly, she basked in the glory of his soft blue eyes as he looked at her, his pink lips quivering slightly. Her heart beat loudly as the three words, spoken for the first time between them, became the rhythm to her heartbeats.

I love you.

I.

Love.

You.

She opened her mouth to speak, to say something as she looked at his sky colored eyes and her daughter's face flashed in front of, rendering her speechless. Her role as Shivi's mother took the stage and now her heart beat not in happiness but in fear.

What if she starts hating me if I bring Shivaay in our lives?

What if she feels neglected now?

What if she feels I don't love her anymore?

What if-

"Annika." He called out to her as he frowned at her now slightly paled face. "Annika?"

"Huh?" She said and looked at him, tears pooling in her eyes.

"You don't have to say anything, okay?" He said and cupped her face to wipe her wet eyes.

"You'll think I am so reserved." She chuckled in a sarcastic tone. "That I can't even say what you want to hear, that I am so-

"No, not at all." Shivaay shook his head and smiled. "I understand-

"I know you want to but you can't. I am sorry but...I can't think anything else. All I can see is Shivi hating me if I divide my attention, she thinking that I don't care for her anymore. That I-

"Annika, it's not like that, she'll not-

"No, you don't know that Shivaay. One cancelled dinner, one postponed tea-party, anything can make her think that. She's so young." She said and wiped her tears. "When you are adopted, after living in an orphanage, all you expect from that new family is to stop loving you any day. You know, for a long time, I used to think that my real parents hated me, that's why they left me."

"You know that's not true." He said and held her hand.

"I know but still, I thought that." She nodded and looked at him. "I lived in three foster homes before Sahil's parents adopted me and every time I left a foster home, I thought that, one more family that absolutely hates me. I was hardly ten by then and it...that thought was enough for me to question my existence, to question my own value. And that did a number on me and my self confidence. And I didn't even get the time to get out of that...thinking when Sahil's parents passed away and I had to tell that to myself so I could support us. I just thought that I am enough but I never got the time to believe in it."

"Annika-

"I only started believing it once I was here. Once I became a mother. I cannot lose my child Shivaay. And I cannot let her feel like what I felt for thirty years of my life!" She cried and he put his arms around her, not saying a word but just, being there for her.