The Female Beatle

10

As we got into the store I browsed for milk. The bell above he door rang, signalling the entrance of someone- or some people. A familiar ray of footsteps and chatter came in and sure enough, I heard my fellow band mates talking. During my first step to turn the corner and greet the boys, the use of my name made me stop.
"Seriously George, you need to tell Lotty- it's dead obvious." I assumed Lennon said, my curiosity overcame my body and I told Ethan to be quiet as he gave me a questioning look.
"Yeah I know! I'm just waiting for the right time is all." George answered what does he need to tell me? No! They're not kicking me out the band?!
"Don't kick me out!" I shouted from the other isle, mentally kicking myself and grabbing my face. The voices stopped. "Lotty?!" I heard the footsteps rush to my hiding spot and they stared at me, George had the widest eyes of all. "What are you talking about you numpty!" Paul answered smiling through his maternal eyes and hugging me. "Well you said your waiting for the right time to tell me something- tell me what?" I implored to George. He scratched the back of his neck and mumbled something incoherrant. "That we have a record deal!" John said over Georges mumbles. My eyes popped. "WHAT" I dropped the milk I was holding and it splattered everywhere.
"Hey you kids?!" The shopkeeper came after us and sent us running down the street. Ethan grabbed my hand and pulled me down the street forcefully. Quite frankly, it slipped my mind that he was with me completely!
Once we got to a stable distance I sat on the grubby street floor in an attempt to catch my breath.
"You mean...to... tell me..." I wheezed "WE GOT A FUCKING RECORD DEAL?" The lads laughed at my dramatic reaction. Ethan whinged at my words and that diverted all pairs of eyes onto him. "Who's this?" George asked- his words laced with disgust. All the lads stepped closer to him intimidatingly which made me notice a straggler who stood behind them. "Who's this?" The straggler awkwardly chuckled and gave me a small wave.
"We asked first" Paul andeered
"This is my new neighbour, Ethan."
"Hi nice to meet you!" Ethan smiled and raised his hand out to show the others. The boys stood and looked at him with disgust, George had a deadly glare plastered in his eyes. "What's he doing clutching on to your hand like that?" George asked me (I think, though his gaze was stuck on ethan) I felt Ethan let go of my wrist and take a step closer to George, lifting his posture and tilting his head up. He was around the same height as George but a lot more muscular. After he did this, John and Paul copied his actions whilst John grabbed my wrist and pulled me behind them. "I'd jog on if I were you mate." George answered through gritted teeth his words dripping with rage.
"Are you gonna make me? You twig." Ethan chuckled back. George took a breath and in a blink, his fist collided with Ethan's jaw. "Ethan!" I screamed and George looked back at me his once angry face sort of contorted with regret. I couldn't help but feel angry at him, of course men and there testosterone meant that nothing got done. I rolled my eyes and tried to pick ethan up by stretching my hand to his body now sprawled on the ground. Instead of taking it however, he slapped it out the way and attempted to stand up but looked as if he was wearing invisible roller skates.
Eventually, when he managed to raise to his feet he stumbled back and yelled "Bitch!" Glaring at me.
"You what!" John bellowed, but I clutched onto his sleeve stopping him from stepping forward. "Leave it John." I demanded. He looked at me and lowered his head briefly stepping back; his submission only lasted for a brief ultimatum of two seconds as we he saw the image of Ethan running away, he couldn't help himself but shout "that's what I thought!". I rolled my eyes and readjusted my sleeves. Without realising, I sighed a loud sigh and started walking to my house.
The boys soon blocked my path however, they stood in front of me and stared at me with anticipating faces.
"Well?" Paul spoke first,
"What?" I spat back
"The fucking album Lotty!" Paul answered with a mixture of amusement and shock.
"Oh shit yeah, well... when are we recording for it then?" I didn't want to carry on talking to them at the moment.
"Erm" Paul looked to the others for support- thusly received by John, "Brian said on Wednesday,"
"Wednesday! Great, see you then!" I faked a joyful tone but as I took a step all of them took a step back with me to stop my path.
"Guys..."
"Lotty I'm sorry he just bugged me." George answered
"Well that's not good enough is it George? You can't just punch someone like that. You could've all left it." I answered yelling.
"You can't blame us!" George defended himself "listen Lotty, I'm genuinely hand on my heart sorry, on the behalf of all of us." He fell to his knees and tugged on Paul's and Johns trouser legs to join him, which they did. "Please, please forgive us." He was followed by a chorus of "please's" by the boys, they tugged at my legs until I managed to crack a smile, then a giggle, then fits of laughter as the boys tickled me until I almost collapsed onto them all but George manage to catch me and hauled me over his shoulder. We all laughed and all feelings of anger and my desire for isolation had disappeared.
"C'mon then, Mimi's out drinks at mine!" John yelled. "But what about my parents?" I'll be dead if I don't come back, Christ Ethan's probably back with a bruised eye already. George might've sensed my worry because he put me down and said, "we can walk you back instead of you want?" As much as he has angered me merely minutes before, he still melted my heart. Sympathetically I smiled, "you know I'd want you to but, they still don't know..." George frowned for a second and a red flush washed upon his cheeks, instantly feeling bad, I instinctively placed my hand on his cheek to lead it to my gaze where I spoke enough apologetic words through my eyes to him so I didn't need to speak vocally.
"Jesus Lotty when are you gonna tell em?" John asked. "Never." I smirked to John and he snorted it off.
"C'mon then, I'll stay for one drink and then go back." I answered John. One drink.
***
6 beers, 2 ciders and 3 lagers later I stumbled to johns front door and attempted to push it open: I shoved and shoved until my side ached but hen I heard a raspy voice "it's a pull y'know?" I turned to see George's amused face. Scoffing I lied "I knowww. I simply had an itch that I couldn't scratch." He burst into fits of laughter, it sounded like 3 voices and I also saw John and Paul sitting on the staircase. The noise was unbearable and I told them all to "SHHHH" and pulled the door open. Before I took 3 steps I heard the door slam and turned to see George trot up to me.
"Geoooorrrrgiiieeeee!" I yelled with my arms in the air attempting to hug him but consequently using him as a wall to lean on. He just laughed and lifted me bridal style. "One drink huh?" I smiled and closed my eyes. I kid my head back earning an outstanding double chin but I didn't care. For the first time in my life, my insecurities didn't embarrass me. I felt as if I was completely in my own and yet I wasn't, George was there. As if we had morphed into one person knowing every detail of ourselves and embracing eachother for it. All the while feeling completely comfortable. It was a foreign content that set in my body.
"Lotty!" George whisper yelled. "Hm?" I opened my eyes to see my house. George gently lowered me to my feet but walked me to my door. I went to open it but found the handle jammed. I tried again and again but nothing happened. Even George tried and it remained stuck. "They've locked me out" I thought out loud. "They wouldn't? It's only 10pm?" George exclaimed. "I ran off according to them." Me and George remained quiet collecting our thoughts when I noticed a light switch on in my parents bedroom. Soon I could faintly hear the familiar creaking of footsteps down the stairs and suddenly the door swung open to my disheveled mother. At the sight of her, I sobered incredibly quickly, "so now you turn up?" She speaks. "I'm sorry mu-"
"Save it! Ethan told us everything, poor boy. Said your boyfriend hit him. That you hang out with a bunch of poor, no good, punk delinquents? Oh you really have some explaining for me and your father.... Who's this?" She realised George's presence when he reached for my hand in reassurance. "Don't even answer that, I don't want to know." An excruciating pause took hold of the atmosphere around us which gave me enough time to muster up the courage to ask "Look Mum, can I just come in? I'll explain everything later." I got a scoff as a reply, "you can come in, but trust me you will never go back out!" she hastily clutched my wrist will turning to George "Good day!" and with a flick of a switch I was pulled into the house, not even able to say goodbye.

i was dragged into the kitchen like a dog on a lead and pushed into a chair facing my parents opposite me, side by side. The silence cracked me...

"Listen I'm sorry, yes I joined a band again, yes they're all boys but they aren't punks! Paul and John go to my college and George has an apprenticeship! They are really lovely, for Christ sake, John lives in Woolton and he's the leader! As for Ethan, well it was coming for him, he really provoked them and theyve never done anything like that before!" i left it there noticing i was rambling but I had to speak the truth, i sat looking at my lap awaiting the reply. My Father answered, "This is what's going to happen, you're going to go upstairs and wait there. I would say you can have meals, but i don't think I would want pay for a betrayal to eat my food. You don't leave this house without myself or your mother until you're married and he can get you off our hands. and you can kiss that band goodbye."

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes and i quietly responded "But we got a record deal...". Suddenly the room was filled with patronising laughs, "YOU?! You are about as talented as a teaspoon dear. The only thing you'll make of your life, is a mess." My mother replied cruelly.

Hurt, anger and memories indoctrinated my bloodstream and i stood up and screamed "I HATE YOU!"

All i can remember was the man I called Father's knuckles edging closer to my fast squinting eyes.

****

I woke up in my room. My head pounded and i blindly reached for my lamp judging by the fact it was dark, it ,ust've been late. I looked at my clock and saw it was 2.57am. I walked over to my mirror to examine the damage. My right cheeckbone was purple and red and had a scab mark from where my Dad's ring had caught me. That was it. I tiptoed over to my wardrobe and grabbed my suitcase, i packed all my valuables and my precious objects and once finished, snuck to my dresser and wrote a note,

Dear Mother & Father

Before you say, I do understand all you have sacrificed to have me. But respectfully, you must understand, if you can't allow me to pursue my choices, you are denying me to live. I did once love you both and maybe I can love you again. I know I won't ever forgive you but perhaps I can forget and we may start a fresh? I hope you both find peace within yourselves.

I wish you all the happiness in the world,

The girl who once called you Mother and Father.

I placed the note inbetween the salt and pepper jars and, clutiching my hankerchief slipped out the backdoor without making a